Maybe 4 is enough!
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The decision to stop having kids is not to be taken lightly. Since I started having children, I have envisioned having 6. I know, a little crazy to most. But I have always felt very sure of that number. But...maybe 4 is enough.
I am just like every other mother out there. Trying to do a million things at once and never managing to keep up with things. So, bringing more kids into this family would just add to that. The grocery bill, the laundry (oh goodness, the laundry), the noise. All of that increases with every child. But then I start to feel a little guilty. I feel that maybe I am being a little selfish. The thoughts in my head are very conflicting. To have or not to have...more children? That is the question.
I was watching Extreme Make Over Home Edition...one of my favorite shows. The family that they were "honoring" was incredible. This couple have been foster parents to more than 200 children, have two of their own, and adopted 3 more. All of which have disabilities. Watching their story was inspiring. But also made me feel even more conflicted about having more. There are so many people who do so much more that I do, and they do it with grace. Why am I being such a wimp?
My heart aches a little at the thought of not having a tiny baby in my arms again. But then my mind winces at the possibility of insanity. I would love to have another boy running around the house, but I don't know what I would do with one more emotionally dramatic girl. See...conflicted!
Now, maybe I shouldn't be so open with these feelings. But I thought that hey, we all have to come to this decision sooner or later, so why not put my thoughts out? Maybe receive some inspiration from all those wonderful moms who read this silly blog of mine??
It is quiet obvious that I will not be making this decision alone. My husband will be involved and of course, the Lord. Even writing this, I really think that there are more little spirits waiting to come to this family. So maybe this is actually helping me come to a conclusion. Maybe this is an answer to my prayer.
10 comments:
You know I have these exact thoughts on a regular basis, too. Not an easy decision. But I'm pretty sure we both know our answer... we're just over-thinking it. ;0)
I'd love to hear what other moms who read your blog think, too.
We all feel that way, But as we found only the Lord knows exactly how many we can handle. All you have to do is look at the older people and see how much joy their adult children and their grandchildren bring them and its easy to see why people endure big families. Its always worth it in the long run.
p.s. your doing a great job as a mom and wife.
I think you are an amazing Mom. I think no matter the number of children there are good days and bad days. As a Mom who would LOVE to have more my best advice is to wait and pray even longer to be 110% sure you are done. Knowing there are little spirits waiting to come here and I have probably denied them that is killing me. I pray every day for another little miracle. You are doing great and I know you will both make the best decision for your family. Luvya!
The Lord probably will want us to have children now, during the millennium, and in the next life so I wouldn't sweat it too much. You'll get to have all the children you desire!!
I know your thoughts exactly....and I don't even have 4 yet! Some days though I just think "maybe 3 is enough!" but then I know in my heart and mind that there is still at least one more. I just don't want that one to come and then there still be "one more" and so on...lol.
if you are having doubts, go to the temple with them. but you know your done,right? personally, I can see you with 10 kids! your a great mom.
if you are having doubts, go to the temple with them. but you know your done,right? personally, I can see you with 10 kids! your a great mom.
Don't worry the Lord will let you know what you should do. I knew when we were driving home from the hospial with Melia that she would be the last one. Though we had talked about having more.
My mom had 3 kids and knew for many years she had more spirits to come. my two brothers were born when I was 14 and 16, Not till after the 2nd one did she feel she had all her children here.
As a parent and grandparent it is great. Being a grandparent is the best. But, you probably have a while to wait for that.
I admire you and know you will handle all the children the lord sends to you just fine. Just remember they do grow FAST. I wish I could rewind and enjoy them more then I did. Don't worry to much about what you don't get done. 10 20 yrs from now you won't remember or care. but the memories with your kids last forever!
Dee Dee Abrahamson
Clarrisa! I just found your blog off Dawn's, you children are beautiful! You look great! Do you age? Off topic, I know, but how fun to see how you guys are doing. And the baby thing will come. I've had 3 accidents! If you're not done, the Lord lets you know, and if you're done, the Lord lets you know. And in my opinion, after 4, chaos is just chaos, it can't get any worse! Except for the laundry...
Clarissa,
You are wonderful & have had great advise. All you need to do now is say to the Lord "Thy will be done." Then when you feel at peace with your decision, act on it. I am so glad He told me I had 2 more waiting after 4. What joy they have brought us. Keep up the great work. Gretchen
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