Monday, August 23, 2010

A PERFECT 10
Hitting Double Digits

I know it's kind of cliche to say "wow, how time flies."  But it really does.  I can't believe that I became a first time mom a decade ago.  Payton has brought so much to this family and I am so proud of him.  I realize that I have spent a lot of time focusing on how crazy he is driving me lately...but he really is an amazing kid. 



For his birthday, he wanted to have some of his friends over and just play and hang out.  So, that's what we did.  They started off with some ds playing (of course) and then headed out to the trampoline.  Thankfully it was a turning into a beautiful day so after lunch (Payton's choice of Pizza), we ventured out to the mighty Newakum River.



AUSTIN, PAYTON, ANDREW and DRAKE
what handsome boys they are!!


I don't know how many times they jumped from the log...
I really loved seeing how much fun they were all having together.  It made me smile to know that Payton was enjoying his day.



  They are all such good boys!!  They didn't seem to mind too much that I kept taking pictures of them!!


















                                                                Fighting the rapids...
          They loved taking turns  letting go of this log and letting the rapids take them to the other side, then they would swim against the rapids to get back.  They were so awesome with each other and encouraging and helping one another.  After about 2 hours out there, they were pretty wiped out.  But they  were deliriously happy. 






Payton isn't that big of a cake fan, so when given the option of having brownies...he went with that.  I know, it's nothing special.  But they were pretty good.  We teamed them up with some mint chocolate chip shakes and everyone was satisfied!!

That night, Payton's new movie "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" was viewed outdoors, lots of chips were consumed and good times were had.  I think we can call the day a success!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAYTON TROY!!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

PUT A CAP ON IT

So after posting "For Those Who Can't Swim," I asked myself this question..."WHY can't you learn?"  I've asked this question before.  I have even talked to my friend, Brook about giving me lessons.  She used to be an instructor and on her high school swim team.  She always told me "Of course I will teach you how to swim."  But you know how most things go...they just, don't.  Well I made up my mind that I was tired of not knowing how to do it.  Now, I'm OK in the water.  I don't totally avoid it and can dog paddle my way around most small/shallow bodies of water.  (Wow, that sounded pathetic.) But...that needed to change.  I texted Coach Brook, told her how serious I was about it and we were in the Thorbeck's pool that night.  We could only go during 'open swim' time.  Which meant we were in the pool with all these kids who were swimming circles around me, splashing around and staring at the old lady trying not to drown. 

Brook was awesome.  She taught me how to tread water, (I'm too tense), she taught me to put my head back more while doing the back stroke, she taught me the proper freestyle stroke.  And she tried to teach me the breast stroke.  That will have to come much later....my coordination is lacking for that.  I have to admit, I did much better than I thought I would.  I could actually propel myself forward.  It was kind of funny though, when I kept propelling myself into those lane dividers.  Besides the head wounds from the dividers and my pride being a little deflated in front of those kids...I walked away feeling pretty good about how I did.
I was feeling so good, actually, that I stopped by Big 5, bought a swim suit and a pair of goggles and tried to get well rested to go back to the pool at 5:30 A.M.  The well rested part didn't really work.
But I got my tired buns out of my warm, comfortable bed and headed out in the dark.  I walked in, still very groggy but determined.  After a few more instructions and some observation, Brook went over to her lane to do her thang.  OH MY GOODNESS, can this girl swim!!!  It's actually quite beautiful to watch.  She literally looks like she is floating on the water, barely splashing and so incredibly graceful. 

So, the whole feeling good about myself diminished pretty quickly upon doing laps. I don't really know what I look like while swimming, but I feel like I'm doing it all wrong.  Having a little lesson and then trying to actually swim laps...Yikes.  SWIMMING IS HARD.  You use every muscle in your body.  It's amazing how tired I am just after one lap.  ( A Length = one time down. A Lap = one time down and back.) For me right now, there is so much to think about.  My stroke, kicking, breathing, trying not to swallow the entire pool!!   My biggest worry is breathing.  I have to figure that perfect rhythm out soon, because I find myself taking in a lot of water and getting a little panicky.  But...all in good time.

I felt excited to get back in there on Friday morning.  Brook had to work, so I went at it alone.  It went...fine. I tried different things with my breathing,  still need to practice.  One thing that I didn't pick up while acquiring my swimming gear is a swimmers CAP!  OK...I have found that this is a must.  My hair is everywhere.  I got so frustrated with it that I asked the life guard if they sold any caps there.  He told me that HE couldn't sell me one and since it was 5:45 in the morning, no one that could sell me one would even be there until 8.  But he felt sorry for me and actually loaned me his.  Thank you Mr. Life Guard sir.  It made a HUGE difference.  So, now I must go purchase this thing and 'put a cap' on this crazy head of hair.

One of the best things so far...I don't get nervous at the deep end of the pool.  These few times in the water have already made it better for me. YAY!!

Monday, August 9, 2010

"I AM WHAT I AM..."



But is that ALL that I am?


DISCLAIMER: I have P.M.S. right now.  I blame anything that I say on that.

So last night was interesting.  After another ridiculous experience of putting the "I'm NOT tired" kids to bed.  I had a little bit of emotional diarrhea.  Everything that I feel inadequate about came spewing out and poor Doug had to clean up the mess I made.  For some reason, these moments tend to happen in my bathroom.  I wind up sitting on the toilet lid with my face in my hands.  (Maybe it happens there because the toilet paper is so conveniently close....which is a great thing when you 'ugly cry' the way I do.)
My husband just asked what I was feeling.  I don't really think he was expecting what he got though.  I was abnormally honest with my answers.  I wasn't afraid of how stupid they sounded or how disturbed they made me seem.  I laid it all out on the bathroom floor.  I won't go into everything that I shared with him because it got a little too personal.  But what it boiled down to was..."INADEQUACY."  Or so I thought that's what it was.  I went into all the aspects of life that I feel like I'm failing at, horrible mom, horrible wife... or in other words  "CLARISSA'S PITY PARTY!"  In sharing all this information with Doug, he said some things that were very hard to hear.  And very hard to not get mad at him for.  But I didn't get mad...I held in the tantrum that was boiling in my throat.  I didn't get defensive, like I usually do.  I just listened to his thoughts on what I had said.  After all, he had sat there quietly through my sobs of insanity.  The conclusion:  I.  AM.  SELFISH.  Yep, I admit it.  I have had hints of that being the case off and on for years, but it's official.  I'm selfish.  Another term for it is "ME-ITIS."  It's a terrible disease, really.  And I hope to remedy it as soon as possible.  Some well known medications for it are: Service, Love, Compassion, (all for other people of course).  Now I know that I have tried these before, but have they been for the right reasons?  Not sure.  But I think it's time I self-medicate again.  Just forget about myself.  Not to the point of not taking care of ME or not knowing how important I am.  But just spending more time on how other people are feeling and how things effect others.  Not just concentrate on how I AM FEELING and how it's only effecting ME! 

So, yes.  I am what I am.  But it's NOT all that I am.  I can be different.  I can be more.  I can be better.


Ether 12: 27
"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness, I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."


Wednesday, August 4, 2010

IT'S TIME!




Before we moved down here from Olympia, I had started taking guitar lessons.  I was so thrilled at the prospect of playing and singing and being able to accompany my family around camp fires singing Kumbaya.  OK...maybe too cheesy.  But it has always been a goal of mine to learn how to play this little sucker.  I have talked to a few people, gotten my hopes up when offered lessons but nothing has happened.  Well, having spent the past week in bed and not having much to do, I picked up my dusty old friend and I was hit with an enormous amount of desire to become closer to this musical instrument.  I got on line and looked through websites upon websites.  After finding one that I really liked and felt like was what I was looking for, I signed up.  I am now a guitar student!! YAY ME!! 
Hopefully I will be able to stick with it, not get too frustrated with my lack of coordination and work through the sore finger-tips! 
For Those Who Can't Swim!
My First Duathlon

When I was doing the Sound to Narrows back in June, my friend Rachel asked if I wanted to do a duathlon with her  (biking and running).  I said a very excited "YES!"  It was to happen only a few shorts weeks later.  Well, I didn't train...AT ALL because of getting things all ready for Dance Festival and my birthday party.  So, it didn't happen.  Well baby, it's happening now.  I found a few that will be taking place locally in September.  I am so pumped.  Does it matter that I haven't been on a road bike in, like...YEARS?  NO!  Does it matter that I have been sick and unable to walk too far without being exhausted?  NO!  Does it matter that while writing this, my hands are sweating and I'm second guessing myself?  NO!  It's on!!



Oh...and from now on during all my races, I will be sporting the ever so fashionable "LiveStrong" wristband  for my mom!