FROM, YOUR HONEY GIRL

Just wanted to take a minute and give a shout out to my mommy...Iris!

She is a very strong and incredible woman.  5 years ago...ovarian cancer hit her but she hit back harder.  Last week...thyroid cancer came at her and she's throwing punches!!

I only wish that I could be there with her for this fight...rub her shoulders, spray water in her mouth, help her knock it out completely!

But alas...I am here.  Loving, thinking, praying from a distance.  My heart aches and sadness fills my mind.  I should be there helping take care of her. What does brings me comfort is knowing that there are people in Alamosa who are taking good care of her while she recovers from surgery to remove her thyroid.  Another thing that brings me comfort is my mom's faith.  She doesn't doubt that everything will be ok.  

But I know that she is in a lot of pain and has moments when little negative thoughts creep into her mind... 

So for those moments, I say these things to my mom...

You are a woman of good courage

and deep strength.

You are a woman of immense love

and overwhelming goodness.

You are a woman of extreme faith

and unfailing integrity.

You are a woman of true beauty

and amazing abilities.

You can do this.

Thank you to everyone that is helping her through this.  To my family who of course shows unconditional love and support to her.  To my mom's co-workers that make her take care of herself and ignore her stubbornness. You've helped save her life, twice now.  I am eternally grateful for that.

I know that she is in good hands...even without me there.

Rest well this night my sweet mommy, knowing that you are loved, cared for and appreciated.  Knowing that 1700 miles away I am taking care of you in different ways.  And wake up knowing that you will win this fight.

The Sound of Silence

(running ipod-less)

I always have my ipod when I run by myself.  In fact, I don't really like to run without it.  It's my little handy-dandy companion, my rhythmic motivation. I love to have those up-beat songs carry me through a run and help my mind concentrate on the words and the beat rather than the pain.

When I headed out for a run this morning, I was companion-less.  Not doing a lot of running lately, I don't really know where my ipod is.  But, I couldn't let that stop me from getting back on the horse.  So, I did a little stretching and then got my legs started.  It was 6 in the morning...no one around...just me.  Without those little buds shoved into my ears, I could hear everything around me.  The birds were chirping and a few cows were bellowing.  Every once in a while I heard a distant car drive by.  But the sounds I heard the most, were the sounds of me.  My shoes hitting the pavement, the wind blowing through my ears,  my breathing...my heartbeat...my thoughts.  I felt really connected to ME.  It was odd and exhilarating at the same time.  It felt almost cleansing.  I have a lot of conversations with myself while running and today was no exception.  But it was a deeper conversation without the background music.  There are so many things that I need to purge from my life.  So many weaknesses and barriers and negative thoughts that I need to overcome.  And after this run...I feel like I might actually be ready to do that.  Or at least try, anyway.  The thing that I'm afraid of though, is letting these feelings fade.  I, like most people, decide that I'm going to be better and do better and get all worked up and motivated...and than BAM!  It's gone.  I don't want that to happen.  So, I'm thinkin', maybe I won't bother trying to find my ipod.  Maybe I will run alone for a while.  Maybe I will use my runs as my silent reminder of doing things differently.  And if I am able to have that reminder every time I run...these feelings might last a little longer.

I only have a few hours left in my 20's.  Over the last few days I have really been thinking about the past 10 years. So I thought it would be interesting to have a little conversation...my 30 year old self with my 20 year old self.

~

20 year old self:  "Clarissa, is that me?"

30 year old self: "Hey, miss thang!"

20 year old self: "You look really different, like I don't even recognize you."

30 year old self: "I know what you mean.  Did I really look THAT young?"

20 year old me: "What happened?"

30 year old self: "Well...I'd like to say it was the braces."

20 year old self: "WHAT?  I get braces?  When?  How long do I have to wear them?"

30 year old self: "Yeah...not gonna tell you that.  You might change your mind."

20 year old self:  "Hmmm...ok.  So what other things are you not gonna tell me?"

30 year old self: " How much fun would it be for me to tell you exactly what happens in the next 10 years of your life?"

20 year old self: "Well, I guess that's true. Can you tell me one thing, though?"

30 year old self: "Maybe..."

20 year old self:  "Are you pregnant right now?  Because I am and I feel humongous, swollen and I'm totally scared about becoming a parent.  I don't know what to do...what to expect..."

30 year old self: "Whoa...slow down, honey.  Everything will be just fine.  Remember to breathe.  I will tell you that you will survive this whole first baby thing...I promise."

20 year old self: "Doesn't feel that way.  But if you say so.  You seem like someone I can trust."

30 year old self: "Cute."

20 year old self: "There are so many things I want to know."

30 year old self: "I know.  OK, I will tell you something.  You, my friend, are totally happy.  Like, deliriously over the moon happy.  Like, wake up and pinch yourself to make sure it's real, happy. You are going to have some significant events, some that will test you, some that will blow you away with delight.  Disappointments, ups and downs, ins and outs, and on rare occasions you will surprise the heck out of yourself.  But no matter what...you will have people there who will help you and love you.  And when you are facing the number 30 you will be in a good place, surrounded by the most incredible friends and family and children and the world's most compassionate, understanding and forgiving husband, who absolutely adores you."

20 year old self "Wow...that's amazing.  I'm crying."

30 year old self: "Oh honey...those tear have only just begun.  And, yes, it really is amazing."

20 year old self: "Before you go, is there any advice you want to give me.?"

30 year old self: "Sure...update your wardrobe sooner.  Those mom jeans are a terrible thing.  Just because you are becoming a mom doesn't mean that those things have a place in your closet.  And don't be so hard on yourself.  You really are a fantastic person, who only gets better.

20 year old self: "Well, I will say that I agree with you on that.  I kind of like you."

30 year old self: "Thanks...I kind of like you too.  Oh...and don't worry about those 74 pounds you put on during this pregnancy...they come off."

20 year old self: "YAY!!  That's the best thing you could have told me!!"

30 year old self: "I thought that might help!"

Sound to Narrows 12K

Me, Brook, Traci, Heidi and Rachel

  Yes people...I'm updating my blog.  I started with one from a few months back (scroll down.)  But then I decided to post something recent.  This past Saturday I did the Sound to Narrows 12K again.  I did it last year, and it was my first official race while training for the half marathon.  Although I didn't run it this year, it was definitely more enjoyable cause I walked it with some of my ladies!!!  The weather was absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!  Traci and Brook were 'race virgin's'.  The pic up top is them holding their fingers in a 'V' for that reason.  We had such a fantastic time.  It is a very hilly course.  Traci has been training for it and swore up and down that she was not going to run...BUT SHE DID!!  She must have caught the bug cause she jogged at a couple of different spots.  One being the most difficult incline of the entire race!!  She rocked it.  Speaking of 'rocking it.'  There was a pretty cool band at one part of the course.  I was challenged to get up on stage and sing with them.  I accepted the challenge and belted out "I Saw Her Standing There" with the lead guy.  I probably looked a fool...but it was worth it.

We finished in pretty good time....but the point is that we finished!! I can't wait to see the pics that were taken of us on the course.  You know we all posed and smiled pretty for those camera men!

When we finished we headed back to the car.  There was a couple just sitting on the sidewalk.  We found out that they had locked their keys in the car and we offered them a ride. (That's the couple in the little pic below). I hope we didn't scare poor James and Eileen.  We are a pretty crazy group of girls.

I will just say again, that I had a marvelous time...simply marvelous.  I can't wait for the next one.  Thanks ladies for making it such a great experience.  LOVE YOU GIRLS!!!

P.S.  Rachel made us all these little goodie bags stuffed full of things (trail mix and gummy bears...) and complete with tin initials of each of our names.  So fabulous!!  Rach...you rock!!

ALL DONE, BABY!!

THE DIFFERENCE OF 1 NUMBER...

~

OK...I know that I have so much blogging to catch up on. Look for back blogs coming soon. But I wanted to tell this funny little story.

The other day I needed to get a hold of a friend of mine, ASHLEY RICKS. I was on the road and for some reason didn't have her number in my cell (or so I thought. It was under her last name, not her first.) Anyway, I texted my friend, Susie for the number. She sent it to me and I dialed away. This is how the conversation went.

Ashley: "Hello"

Me: "Hello. Ashley?"

Ashley: "Yeah"

Me: "Hey, this is Clarissa. Are you ok? You sound really different."

Ashely: "Yeah, I'm fine."

Me: "Is something wrong?"

Ashley: "Nooooo..."

Me: "Are you sure? You just sound so different. Oh, are you still sick?"

Ashley: "No, I'm just getting over it. I'm fine now."

Me: "Well, I won't bother you. I forgot that you haven't been feeling well."

Ashley: "No, it's fine. Wait...Clarissa who?"

Me: "What? This is Ashley, right?"

Ashley: "Yeah."

Me: "Ashley, what's your last name?"

Ashley: "Morrison" (or something like that)

Me: "Wow...I'm sorry. I have the wrong number."

I hung up the phone and Doug was totally laughing at me. He was like "You just had a conversation with a girl named Ashley, but it wasn't the Ashley you were wanting. How weird is that? I texted Susie and said that it was the wrong number. Apparently she had been super busy when I asked and just accidentally gave me the wrong number... just one number off. What are the odds of me dialing a number looking for Ashley (who had been sick) and getting Ashely but not the Ashley I was looking for???? Strange I tell ya. Strange.

          *Easter Sunday*


Well things were a little more exciting (and loud) with Richard and Timothy in the house for his holiday.  It was a pretty low key.  With it being General Conference we just hung around the house, watched conference and ate candy!!  It was a little strange not being at church for Easter though...but so nice that the kids' sugar high didn't bother anyone but us!!

"THANK YOU EASTER BUNNY...BOCK, BOCK!"

Having kids to celebrate the little holidays with is so interesting.  I always take a glance back at what we did as kids.  One thing I remember most about Easter with my family is the indoor egg hunts.  We used to take turns hiding the eggs from the other siblings.  And let me tell you, when you live in a single wide trailer...you have to be pretty creative!!  Good memories.

Honesty and Respect

Just wanted to brag about my kids for a sec.

The kids school has a monthly value theme. What they do is the teachers pay attention to who exudes this quality during the month and then at the monthly assembly, the kids are given an award. For January it was RESPECT. We were proud when Payton received this award. Unfortunately I didn't know that he was getting this and didn't attend the assembly or get a pic, but will take one and post it soon. But we are very proud that he shows respect to the people he comes in contact with. He is a really good kid.

February's theme was HONESTY. Savannah was very excited to get this award...well, she would have been excited for any award. This time, Savannah's teacher called the night before to let me know so I was able to go to the assembly. But...because I am perpetually late, I missed seeing her receive it. I tried hard to get there by 9 but getting 4 more kids ready just proves to be a little difficult. But, we are very proud of miss vanner. And she just beamed knowing that we made it.

You often wonder if the things you are teaching your kids are truly setting in. When your kids get recognized for these qualities it's like you, as a parent, are receiving an award too!!

Man...I LOVE MY KIDS!

.Payton's First Race.

Matchmaker 5K

February 13, 2010

This was a very last minute decision on mine and Payton's parts. Doug had been planning to run for several weeks but I was just going to stay home because of the kids and not being able to run for a while. But Doug is pretty persuasive and really wanted me there...and had already convinced Payton to go.

One thing...PAYTON DOESN'T RUN!!

He did pretty good the first mile and then it went down hill from there. He was so tired and his legs hurt. Doug and I just stayed with him and talked him through it. Telling him that he could do it and that he wasn't giving up. It was torture...for all of us.

When we FINALLY saw the finish line Payton kicked it into high gear and finished strong. We finished DEAD LAST! Wait...I guess I finished dead last. Payton and Doug crossed before I did!!

We were proud of him!!

The Dahlin's and Steve Johnston were also there. They all did great and were there to cheer us on at the finish line, and take pictures. Thanks!!!
It was a good-ish experience. But I don't think Payton will be running any 5K's for awhile!