"The miracle isn't that I finished. It's that I had the courage to begin."

~

Some people were born to run. They have the needed desire, drive, determination and ability. I am not one of those people. I am not a runner. I remember in middle and high school, getting terrible side aches and being completely out of breath for the one mile runs that we had to do for gym class. For me, it was torture.

So, why did I do this? Why did I decide to do something that in all actuality, I hated? I asked myself the same question every day of my training. I don't know if I can come up with one solid answer.

I don't see myself as a person with drive. I am a huge procrastinator, very unmotivated, completely unorganized, highly emotional and I lack just about every domestic skill there is. There are so many things that I want to change about myself. So many things that I see in others that I wish for myself. I wanted to feel like I could do something. I never went to college. In fact, I barely graduated high school. So, at times I feel like a very unaccomplished individual.

I know that being a wife and mother are and will be the biggest accomplishments in my life. I will never doubt that. But sometimes...the desire for more is overwhelming. I needed something.

When I started out, I was miserable. I was reminded with every sound of the crunching gravel under my feet why I hated to run. I cried a lot. I had an overwhelming fear of failure. I signed up in February with the knowledge that my $85 entry fee was non-refundable, but at times I didn't care about what I spent. I wanted to quit. Shortly after I started training, I got terribly sick for about 4 weeks. I couldn't run at all. If that doesn't put a damper on your spirits, I don't know what does. It was more difficult to start again then it was to start in the beginning. But I did. And I just kept at it.

Accomplishing this goal that I set for myself has been incredible. It may not seem like that much to most people, but for me it was huge. I pushed through sore muscles, aching joints and feelings of self doubt and I did it. I crossed that finish line with more drive and determination than I have ever felt in myself before. It felt absolutely amazing.

So, maybe, just maybe...

I am a runner!