FROM, YOUR HONEY GIRL

Just wanted to take a minute and give a shout out to my mommy...Iris!

She is a very strong and incredible woman.  5 years ago...ovarian cancer hit her but she hit back harder.  Last week...thyroid cancer came at her and she's throwing punches!!

I only wish that I could be there with her for this fight...rub her shoulders, spray water in her mouth, help her knock it out completely!

But alas...I am here.  Loving, thinking, praying from a distance.  My heart aches and sadness fills my mind.  I should be there helping take care of her. What does brings me comfort is knowing that there are people in Alamosa who are taking good care of her while she recovers from surgery to remove her thyroid.  Another thing that brings me comfort is my mom's faith.  She doesn't doubt that everything will be ok.  

But I know that she is in a lot of pain and has moments when little negative thoughts creep into her mind... 

So for those moments, I say these things to my mom...

You are a woman of good courage

and deep strength.

You are a woman of immense love

and overwhelming goodness.

You are a woman of extreme faith

and unfailing integrity.

You are a woman of true beauty

and amazing abilities.

You can do this.

Thank you to everyone that is helping her through this.  To my family who of course shows unconditional love and support to her.  To my mom's co-workers that make her take care of herself and ignore her stubbornness. You've helped save her life, twice now.  I am eternally grateful for that.

I know that she is in good hands...even without me there.

Rest well this night my sweet mommy, knowing that you are loved, cared for and appreciated.  Knowing that 1700 miles away I am taking care of you in different ways.  And wake up knowing that you will win this fight.

The Sound of Silence

(running ipod-less)

I always have my ipod when I run by myself.  In fact, I don't really like to run without it.  It's my little handy-dandy companion, my rhythmic motivation. I love to have those up-beat songs carry me through a run and help my mind concentrate on the words and the beat rather than the pain.

When I headed out for a run this morning, I was companion-less.  Not doing a lot of running lately, I don't really know where my ipod is.  But, I couldn't let that stop me from getting back on the horse.  So, I did a little stretching and then got my legs started.  It was 6 in the morning...no one around...just me.  Without those little buds shoved into my ears, I could hear everything around me.  The birds were chirping and a few cows were bellowing.  Every once in a while I heard a distant car drive by.  But the sounds I heard the most, were the sounds of me.  My shoes hitting the pavement, the wind blowing through my ears,  my breathing...my heartbeat...my thoughts.  I felt really connected to ME.  It was odd and exhilarating at the same time.  It felt almost cleansing.  I have a lot of conversations with myself while running and today was no exception.  But it was a deeper conversation without the background music.  There are so many things that I need to purge from my life.  So many weaknesses and barriers and negative thoughts that I need to overcome.  And after this run...I feel like I might actually be ready to do that.  Or at least try, anyway.  The thing that I'm afraid of though, is letting these feelings fade.  I, like most people, decide that I'm going to be better and do better and get all worked up and motivated...and than BAM!  It's gone.  I don't want that to happen.  So, I'm thinkin', maybe I won't bother trying to find my ipod.  Maybe I will run alone for a while.  Maybe I will use my runs as my silent reminder of doing things differently.  And if I am able to have that reminder every time I run...these feelings might last a little longer.