*The Baby Bump Project*

I've never actually documented my growing baby belly.  I never have had the desire.  My thinking was, why on earth would I want to take pictures of my weight gain, gross swelling and chubby face?  But, for some reason I feel compelled to do it this time around. I will probably regret it later but it seemed like a good idea this morning.

So I got my camera out and had my hubs take a few snapshots of the effects this kid is having on my figure!  I am 14 weeks today and am already not fitting into my pants cause my hips are spreading and I have awesome love handles.  (Note:  That is why my hand is on my hip...it hides it a little).  This is obviously the hardest part for me.  Over the last several years I have literally worked my rear off to be in shape and healthier-ish.  So this process is mentally difficult.  My body just gains weight, and I hate it!! The least amount I've gained with pregnancy has been 45 lbs.  The most being 75 lbs.  I guess it's just in my blood.  A part of me just wants to say 'forget it!' let it go and just eat whatever I want whenever I want.  But the other part of me knows just how much harder that will be on me in the long run.

 One positive effect though has been my growing bosoms.  And yes, I just said bosoms.  I forgot what it felt like to have full breasts.  I will say that I do love it and will enjoy every minute of them (as will Doug), because I know they will disappear when I stop nursing and start working out crazy like again.

To be honest, it was a pretty easy first trimester.  I haven't been terribly sick.  A few days have been more rough than others, but I am functioning pretty well.  The exhaustion and hunger has taken it's toll though.  I do get pretty nauseated when I need to eat and am eating every couple of hours (hence the love handles) and I'm just always tired. Especially around 2 in the afternoon.  My body just wants to lay down, wherever I may be at the time.  I guess I can also mention how irritable I am too...although I won't tell you just how irrational I can be at times.  Stupid hormones!

My sister-in-law that lives next door is also pregnant with her 10th.  Yes, I said 10th.  She's just about 4 weeks behind me.  We have been working out together every morning (minus a few days for not feeling well and busy days) for the past 3 weeks.  Neither one of us wants to but because we are expecting the other one...we do it.  It has been great!  I moan and grumble and don't really want to be out of bed but it's been good for both of us.  I haven't been doing much running because of the silly shin splints.  They actually act up during the exercising, but they are not too unbearable.  I'm just grateful that I am feeling ok enough to do anything at this point.

I promise to not let this pregnancy over-run my blog posts.  There are other things going on in my life!  I'll just update the bump pictures and complain about how much weight I am gaining every once in a while. 

T.T.F.N!!

They call me 'Broken Turtle'

Seattle Half Marathon Experience...Finally!

Yep.  That's me.  Somewhere along this process we all (the group I've been training with) decided we needed nicknames that we would have embroidered on the sleeves of our matching running shirts.  I knew what mine would be right away...'Turtle.'  I felt it matched me perfectly being the absolute slowest one of the bunch.  Well, when my shin splints hit, relapse happened and a few other bumps (including a baby bump) in the training road occurred, it seemed fitting to add the 'broken.'  Don't think I will be known by this name from now on but I will be reminded of this whole experience every time I see that name on the bright, can't miss me, yellow shirt!

The crew all jammed together for an elevator pic at the expo.

(Ron, Jake, Cody, Brittany, Veronica, Me, Jill and Doug)

We took off Friday morning around 10 to make it to the running expo before the traffic hit Seattle from the Sounders and Mariners games that would be happening that evening.  The 6 runners and our 2 cheerleaders piled in to 2 cars and weaved in and out of traffic until making a stop for lunch.  Half at Arby's the other half at Round Table (no pizza, just massive salads).  After more car dodging and almost causing Jake a few heart attacks, we made it to the rooftop parking of the Qwest Event Center and began our laps around the expo.

The main objective of course was to pick up our packets with our bib numbers, tracking tags and then our shirts.  We all got separated and experienced different things in the large and spacious building.

Doug and I ran into the Dahlin's who had already made the rounds.  They were smart and got there early before the crazy crowd.

I knew that one thing I really wanted to check out was any exhibit that had sports tape.  We crossed by the Sports Authority section and noticed a line for this guy.  We will call him Jim.  Jim is a physical therapist who volunteers his time to come and do these things and help provide relief to the injured runner.  I stood in line...but then got tired of waiting.  We walked around a bit, ate just a few free samples of things, and came back around.  The line was even longer.  But, I was willing to wait.  If this tape could provide even the smallest relief from the pain of my shin splints, it would be worth it.  So, I sat on this table, told him my woes and he taped me right up with KT Tape.  I couldn't tell any difference right away seeing as I wasn't in a whole lot of pain at the moment but I hopped off the table with my fingers crossed that when I started to run the next morning, it would magically take at least some of the pain away.  I had high hopes, but was trying to stay realistic.

Cody bought these at the expo.  I kept looking down at his feet and thinking he wasn't wearing any shoes.  They are a little different, but he said they are really comfy.

We headed to check in at our hotel and settle in a bit before gorging ourselves on carbs for dinner.  No body knew where they wanted to eat but it was finally decided that we would head to BJ's.  Lots of variety on the menu.  So, we went.  And then we waited.  And waited.  And waited.  Walked around the mall a bit.  And then waited some more.  Saw a guy puke right outside the restaurant.  We were all getting a little queasy and were so thankful when someone finally came to clean it up.  And then we waited some more.  We were almost past the point of hungry when we made it to our table.  But all was well when we scarfed down chicken fettuccine alfredo or a massive baked potato.  We left bloated and happy.

Seeing as we needed to be at the race around 6:30 am, we all hit the sack with the nerves beginning to take over.  At least for me anyway.  Doug wasn't nervous at all.  All I could think of was whether or not I would be able to actually finish. 

Morning came quickly and before I knew it we were on our way.  We all piled into our Suburban and tried to find the best way in.  As much as the city and the police were trying to keep people from pulling off on the freeway and dropping passengers, they had no chance of stopping the hundreds of people (including us) that were doing it.  That was just the easiest way.  We walked a ways before reaching the starting line.  Everyone but me was in corral 8.  I was clear back in 30. The corral you are in is based on your estimated finish time.  Hence...the 'turtle' nickname.

We were all visiting and stretching in corral 8 and then I had to book it to the very long port-a-potty line.  Unfortunately, I was still there when the starting gun fired.  And I stayed there for a while.  The corrals would go every minute and a half or so and I counted while I waited my turn in the potty. When it got to number 8, I whispered a "good luck my friends" to everyone and an "I love you babe, you got this" to my man.  So bummed I didn't get to actually tell them those things and hug them all in person.  Dang bladder.

I had plenty of time to get back to my number 30 position but opted to jump into 27 instead and did some more stretching. We eked our way forward as my goose bumps formed goose bumps from the nerves and the cold.  My mind was so full of doubt at this point I couldn't even really think too clearly.  I was a little worried about how hungry I would get during this whole thing.  I found out I was with child (6 weeks along) a week  and a half before the race.  Hadn't been experiencing any morning sickness, just HUNGER.  When my body needed food, it needed food. During one of my cycling days after only 12 miles on the bike I needed food right then. Had to stop and fill my belly.  So, race morning, I made sure I packed some snacks in my little running pack and prayed they would suffice for the 13.1 miles.

As my group got closer, my bladder got fuller.  Dang it!!  I was one corral behind the starting line and made a b-line for a couple of port-a-potties.  Low and behold, they were empty...Hallelujah!!  As I ran over there, my shins screamed at me.  My heart sank and a little bit of my hope escaped.  I finished up, ran back to my starting spot and my shins screamed again.  I will admit, I got a little teary-eyed.  But

I was committed.  No turning back now.  It was finally our turn and we were off. 

I obviously knew the pain in my shins was gonna happen now, and it did, immediately.  But oddly enough, it wasn't unbearable.  I felt it mostly in my left leg.  But by some sweet grace the pain decreased and then faded completely.  I wasn't even to the 2 mile marker and felt not a twinge of what I had been experiencing the past 5 weeks.  I was elated.  I was running with no pain and I just couldn't believe it.  Was it the KT Tape?  Was it the crazy praying I had done?  I believe it was both.  I actually felt pretty good and started to really think I was gonna finish and finish faster than last time.  What could stop me now?  Oh yeah, I hadn't actually trained to run 13.1 miles.  I only had reached 8.  That could put a damper on things.  But, no matter...I kept running.  I was really concentrating, but also took the time to high 5 most of the cheer leading squads that were yelling out for everyone.  Read some pretty funny signs and noticed every person that passed me.  As with all my runs before, there came the 'auto pilot' point.  Unfortunately, it didn't last very long.  I think around mile 7, I was feeling a bit tired, but still doing OK.  I made sure I hydrated at every water station and listened to my body very closely.  I kept waiting for my bladder to over fill again, but it didn't.  I apparently was using every thing I had and was putting into my system.  Another, Hallelujah!  I hate stopping to pee during a race.

The praises ceased though around mile 8.  I had felt a little hint of something in my left hip.  But tried to not think about it.  Well, it got to the point where I couldn't help BUT think about it.  It was bad.  Apparently my right hip was feeling left out, so it joined in as well.  Oh, and then my right knee, my toes and my back.  I hurt everywhere...BUT my shins.  I think my back was hurting because of the way I was running.  I was compensating for the insane amount of pain from my left hip.  Mile 9 was a crazy hill and a continuous incline through the Alaskan Way Viaduct.  I dig running through this tunnel and turned my music off just like last time to listen to the wave of yelling that happens. 

  I was a little distracted by my pain so it wasn't nearly as enjoyable as last time.

The miles seemed to be coming even slower and I just wanted to be done.  I teared up a few more times but kept telling myself, "You are almost done!  You got this!"  I was pretty amazed that I was still moving.  The pain was almost debilitating.  My toes felt like they were bleeding and a few of them were numb.  I kept thinking I would be pulling off bloody socks when I was done.  I was feeling pretty broken at this point.  But my shins were doing awesome!!

Mile 11.  I was on a bit of a straight away coming into down town when I heard my name being called.  I turned to the left and saw my friends and my hubby.  They had been finished for quite some time and came to cheer me on.  I loved seeing them there and hearing my name.  Unfortunately, I couldn't really express that.  I was hurting so much and so very tired that I barely mustered a smile at them.  But my heart was leaping.  It really was.  And again, the tears showed up.

The last 2 miles took forever.  I had been keeping track of my time on my handy dandy watch but didn't know exactly because I had forgotten to start it at the start.  I tried hard to push to get a better time but as I slowly watched that chance decreasing, I got a little discouraged. But, I kept reminding myself of how much better I was doing than anyone thought I would and tried to be happy about that. 

At last I saw the finish line.  I started to shake with emotion and I'm sure some spectator saw the emotions on my face.  I was almost done.  Somehow, someway I had a little juice left in me and squeezed hard to 'sprint' to the finish.  My friends were there...didn't hear them...but they were there yelling and cheering.  My husband was going crazy I guess.  I wish so very much that I would have heard them.  It would have made a difference because I thought they weren't there.  Makes me a bit sad.  I should have heard them.  I inched closer and closer, and finally I was finished.  I was so very glad to just be done,  to not have to run any further.  But as soon as I stopped running and stood still for the slightest of seconds, my pain sky rocketed and I was barely able to walk.  I wasn't soaking in the feeling of accomplishment at this moment, I couldn't.  My mind was fuzzy.  I got my medal and stood in line for my finishers photo.  I don't even remember if I smiled.  I saw my honey and just wanted to get to him.  I had been thinking about him the entire time and hoped so much that it had gone well for him.  I crossed over the barrier and went straight for his arms.  We both cried a little and he told me how proud he was of me. 

I asked how it had gone for him...and he didn't want to talk about it.  It didn't go as well as he had hoped.  It was a difficult run for him and he was extremely frustrated because he knew he could have done better.  He had hurt his knee a week before the race and I prayed that it wouldn't bother him...and it didn't.  It's just that other things did.  But,  I believe he did amazing.  I am insanly proud of him.  The progress that he made during his training was remarkable.  He was running my pace and increased his speed so much that he was able aim for a sub 2 (under 2 hours) finish.  He missed it by 12 minutes.  So, he will tie on his running shoes again and shoot for what he believes he can do.  I know he can do it.

Ron and Cody came in pretty close to each other.  I can't remember their official time but it was something like 1:47 and 1:48.  Crazy fast in my eyes.

Jake and Brit came in even faster than that.  All four of them were pretty happy with the way it went and their finishing times.

I'm sure that everyone was sick of waiting around for me and ready to leave...but I made them wait even longer.  I needed to just take a few minutes.  No one complained because I think they all felt sorry for me and they were used to waiting.  They had been waiting for me from the very beginning of this journey. 

I wasn't exactly sure what my time was.  I had forgotten to start my watch at the very beginning so it was a few minutes faster than what it should have been.  I stopped it as I crossed the finish line at 2:28...my last half marathon time.

What would we do without our cheerleaders?  Thank you Veronica and Jill!!  Sure love you two ladies!

The Crew with our nicknamed embroidered shirts

Brittany (Firecracker), Jake (Crash), Me (Broken Turtle), Doug (Tail Gunner), Veronica (not sure if I should share her nickname at this point in time), Ron (Sarge), Jill (Biker Boss) and Cody (Pacer)

Since we didn't get a group shot before or at the start I was adamant on getting one at the end. 

There we all stood.  Finished with what we had all worked so hard to accomplish.  Done with 13.1 miles.  Some happy, some with a sense of disappointment.  Some feeling like they could have kept going, some feeling like they had absolutely nothing left to give.  But, all of us had our finishers medals.  All of us, in our own way, champions.

Congratulations, my friends!

I am so glad that I shared this experience with my best friend.  You really can't grasp what it is like until you do it yourself.  He got to feel it this time.  We really helped each other along.  He was why I kept going.  This was nothing close to easy for me and from the very beginning I wanted to quit.  But Doug would just keep talking me through my doubts and tears.  He kept encouraging me to keep going and just do the best I could.  I really truly could not have done this without him.  I am so thankful that he and a few other people believed in me way more than I believed in myself.

Because I had made everyone wait, we were able to get free sandwiches from Jimmy Johns.  Just like last time.  So very good.  We started back towards the car and I was really wishing for a wheelchair.  My body was done.  It took us a bit but we finally got back to the car.  Everyone was in a hurry to get a shower before we had to check out from our hotel rooms.  6 people and only 2 showers made the process a little slow and of course I was the one to make everyone wait.  I should have showered first seeing as I take the longest.  But it gave everyone a chance to rest and some even napped a bit. See, how thoughtful of me.

We set off for home with our hunger pains increasing.  We stopped in at Famous Dave's BBQ.  We just visited and discussed the days events, shared our experiences and stuffed our faces.  Good times. 

We got back in our vehicles and hunkered down for the ride home.  Thankfully, Jill didn't mind that I needed to stretch my legs out across her lap the whole way home.  I iced my hip and knee with something from her cooler. 

We saw this on the freeway, and I thought it was funny and it made us all smile.  The dog looked totally happy.

It took a few days, but I was finally able to walk a little more normally.  The sore muscles faded but the experience is still very fresh in my mind.  When I looked up my official time it was 2:30:42.  Just 2 minutes over my last half.  There is a part of me that is surprised and proud that I did so much better than expected. But then there is that part of me that's  "REALLY???  2 MINUTES!!  Couldn't I have just pushed a little harder at some point during it all and made up that 2 minutes?"  But, I will take it.

Because after all, I did indeed cross the finish line on my own two legs.

And that is something for me to be proud of.

READY or NOT...

The final countdown has begun.  Only 5 days remain until I'm standing with 25,000 people awaiting the sound of the starting gun.  It makes me think back to 2 years ago when I was in that position.  I remember the adrenaline pumping through every vain in my body and the sweat in my palms.  But looking back, I was ready.  I had trained hard and put in my time.  I was there to fulfil a goal I had set for myself.  I knew I had it in me.  Even though at the time, I may not have felt it. 

Unfortunately...this time is different.

 

To say that I am nervous would be a gross understatement.  When I think about Saturday I almost get sick to my stomach.  I AM NOT READY.  As difficult as it seemed last time around...it doesn't even compare to now.  I jumped into this wanting to have amazing results.  And it just hasn't happened.  When I started running again after the accident, it was difficult.  My body literally had done nothing for almost 4 months.  The muscles in my legs and arms were weak and I was frail.  But, I signed up knowing that it would just come back to me.  I could start running again and build those muscles back up.  That did happen, slowly but surely.  As discouraging as it was to run with the people I was training with, I kept going.  Always the slowest, always running less miles. I kept going.  Eventually there came a point where I started to feel a little better, a little more confident.  Maybe I got a little ahead of myself, maybe I tried to push it too hard, maybe I just wasn't ready to take on a task such as this.  But I wanted to prove to myself that I could come back from my accident and accomplish this.  And now...I'm just scared.

My shin splints are not healed.  And, unfortunately I had a little set back in my healing process which caused my severe dizzies and nausea to return for several days.  The nausea from that has faded, but the intensity of my dizzy spells hasn't calmed down to where they were before. 

I have ran only two times in the last 4 weeks.  I have tried to keep my cardio and endurance up with biking...but running is just different.  The farthest I had ran before my shins decided to get all stupid on me was 8 miles.  5 less than what the race is.  This is not what I had planned. 

But still, I am holding out a tiny bit of...

Hope...that my legs will just keep moving even if they are only crawling.  Hope...that I can talk myself through the pain and negative thoughts that will be swimming in my head.  Hope...that I will just be OK.  Hope...that no matter what it takes, I will cross that finish line.

It is absolutely not what I had planned...but it is what it is and I can't change it.  So, I am gonna put on my running gear, tape up my shins, pin on my bib and finish this journey.  I know that the only person I will be racing against is myself.  That may be the biggest challenge of all.

Unfortunately, I will probably not finish faster than the last time like I wanted to.  But, I will finish. I will finish.  I.  WILL.  FINISH. 

The best part about being the last of all the people I know that are running to cross the finish line is knowing that they will all be there at the end to cheer me on, to hug me and tell me how proud they are of me.  That right there will be worth the pain.

Gold 'N Joy

I made my husband accompany me to a little concert in Olympia last week.  Marvin Goldstein and Vanessa Joy.  Vanessa was an Olympia resident until moving to Arizona.  While there, she was discovered by Marvin Goldstein and he snatched her up and has taken her around the world.  How sweet that would be.

They entertained us with humor, show tunes and costume changes.  We were totally blown away with the way Marvin's fingers danced across the piano keys.  Vanessa's voice was very powerful and clear.  My favorite song that she sang that night was "Rain On My Parade."  It struck a cord with me and she delivered it with a lot of passion.

Part of the show was a group of local kids doing some songs from different musicals they had performed.  My niece, Haley was part of the group. It was fun to see her up on stage.  She couldn't stop smiling.  I think she really enjoyed herself.

After the intermission, we changed seats and got a good view of the hand work.  We could have listened to him play all night.  He did medley's of "Fiddler on the Roof,"  "Man From Snowy River," "Phantom of the Opera," and a "Star Spangled Banner" kind of medley (along with others).  His humor really made the show though.  It was subtle, not over done and just made me giggle.

We had the opportunity to meet and talk with Marvin afterwards.  Vanessa was a little bombarded with long time friends, so we didn't have the chance to meet her.  The upper picture, he is actually standing on his tip-toes.  He almost stood on the bench behind us so he wouldn't look shorter than me.

I really love being able to go to things like this.  To hear people's stories and understand a little more of who they are when I listen to their music.  It was a lovely evening that ended with eating way too much food at Applebee's.

Welcome to CAMPFIRE CORNER!

  I decided it was time to have an official fire pit to gather, roast marshmallows and sing Kumbiya around. Although it's not an actual 'pit', it does the job.  Doug and my father-in-law love when I have ideas like this because it means they get to participate.  They almost jumped for joy when I told them what I wanted. 

It worked out perfectly, in my opinion.  We already had the rocks, provided by our lovely back yard Newakum river.  My father-in-law had picked up the boards a few years ago from a lumber mill in hopes of building benches and a table.   And the stumps were from a couple of dead trees we had cut down.  All we needed was some muscle, (which I willingly provided) and some really really big screws.

And...VOILA!!  Campfire Corner!

Projects always take longer than anticipated and it's not completely finished yet.  We still need to sink the stumps into the ground so they don't tip over.  The benches are quite heavy.

We had our inaugural roast on Saturday night. The day had been beautiful and although it wasn't too chilly or terribly dark when we started...we ended that way. We tried a different variety of s'mores. Reese's peanut butter cups instead of Hershey's chocolate. I enjoyed them immensely.



I am looking forward to spending late summer nights out here.  I think it will be a fabulous place where memories will be made with people we care about.  Makes me smile just thinking about it. 

HIGH 5!!

 Miss Jillian finally turned 5.  She went to the dentist a few days before her birthday and they asked her how old she was.  She answered with a very confident "I'm 4 and 8 quarters!"  And no one could tell her any different.

Her birthday landed on Memorial Day this year and was a bash full of lots of family and a big 'ol BBQ!  Thankfully the weather held out and was a pretty decent day for running all over the property and getting dirty.  Which, Jillian does extremely well.

I think by the stories I have shared about this little one, you have a good idea of who she is.  I am constantly blown away by her whit and sass. She is so theatrical and wouldn't surprise me at all if she tries out for plays and things when she's older.  A part of me wants to take her to auditions for commercials or something.  She has the personality of 4 people sometimes.  And I love everyone of them. 

 If there is any sort of reflecting surface...she is staring at herself, talking, acting, and posing.  Her favorite is the mixing bowl of my Kitchen Aid.  Man, what am I in for with her??

 She wanted a fruit roll up cake at first.  But then she said she wanted a volcano cake.  I went with the easier of the two and ended up with this thing.  I'm not really sure what to call it.  But Jillian was very disappointed about it not erupting.  Just couldn't pull it off.  It was a pretty enormous cake with 3 full layers and cream cheese pudding in between them.  Besides one of the cakes have a little extra oil in the mix, this monster tasted pretty good.  So...looks can be deceiving.

She is way excited to go to kindergarten next year and is very proud that she is 'older.'  I am enjoying watching her grow and change.  There is so much of how she is right now that I hope she keeps as the years pass.  I think she is pretty dang beautiful and I am so thankful that she is happy and healthy!  In one of the very first blog posts I did, I talked about her.  I described how she is the spark of the family...but hoped she wasn't the kind of spark that would set the house on fire.  So far...so good!!

So...I made music.  Like I said I wanted to.  It's simple and short, but I created it and

 am therefore a tiny bit proud of myself (along with being super self-conscious about it). 

 I will never be a Mindy Gledhill.  But, I will always be a Clarissa Gifford.  I've been in a

 funk the last several days, you know, just feeling un-fabulous because I compare myself

 to others way too much.  So, I am posting this to make me feel better about me and

 remind myself that I am OK just the way I am.