EIGHT!

I know that it will continue to baffle me how quickly my kids are growing.  Savannah banana is at the age of accountability and I just can't believe it!! 

Just last week we had parent/teacher conferences and it was great.  Her teacher, Ms. Lilloren, absolutely adores her and wishes she could have 10 more of her in the class.  Savannah is the most tender-hearted, helpful, sweetest thing with a touch of sass and prissyness.  She doesn't mind gettin' dirty and prides herself in having more tom-boy in her than 'girlyness.'  I think she is perfectly balanced between the two.

Savannah Marie is getting baptized on Easter Sunday, April 24th at 4:30 P.M. (right after church).  Anyone is welcome to join us on this special day. 

We are very blessed to have this little lady in our family.  We love her deeply!  As my friend said the other day, she really does light up the room when she enters.  It's incredible to see her grow...even though it's painful to see the "little girl" slowly slipping away.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SWEET SAVANNAH!!

E.M.P.

(Experience Mindy Project)


I hope that because it has taken me a week to post about this that it doesn't cast a shadow on how amazing it was. I just got busy. That is all.

That day proved to be a hectic one with last minute details and making sure everyone had a ride to my house.  I wasn't just taking my family...I was bringing along 16 other people!!  10 of my Young Women and 6 others (friends, parents, grandparents) were able to come.  Some of which had never heard Mindy's music but, it was a concert...so of course they wanted to come.  They just crossed their fingers it wouldn't be to intolerable.  We set off around 5 pm to make sure we made the 45 minute drive with time to get a good place in line.  Fortunately...I had an 'in' with the guy running the show, so he assured me good seats...OK...VIP seats!  And he did not disappoint.  We rolled in being the very first people there.  The venue was the South Bay Grange Hall.  It's an old falling apart kind of place with some sweet character.  It was perfect!

The ladies...showing their enthusiasm???

The friends, parents and grandparents.

My girls, upon seeing some of the YW with their wings on, insisted they bring theirs.  It was their ode to the Anchor video!

The stage.

My friend Rachel was there with her momma and had to get a pic with the little fairies.

Ring master...Daren Falter.  The guy responsible for my whole Mindy craze!

And the one that talked her into stopping in Olympia!

The opening act was Debra Fotheringham.  She was magnificent on her guitar and had an enchanting voice.  It was a bit difficult to hear her at times...but I was in awe.  Found out later that she is a self taught guitarist.  Made my ache for learning to play deepen!!

And then...MINDY!  Should I feel silly to admit that I teared up a little when she got on stage?  She had me and the entire audience eating out of the palm of her hand as soon as she sang the first note. Oh, to have that much influence over the emotions and thoughts of a crowd.

She opened with a Carpenters song "Close to You."  Which I totally dug.  Growing up in the Henry family...you got to know the Carpenters songs.  I'm thinking her version has my vote!  When she talked she just seemed so...normal and down to earth.  Her personality drew me in even more and I could have sat listening to her for hours.  It was lovely to hear the stories behind her songs and understand where they came from.  It's funny how you apply the songs you hear to your own life, but when you hear why they were created in the first place it gives you a deeper appreciation for the song itself and for the creator.  And it gives you a glimpse into their life, which I like...in a non-stalker-ish kind of way.

Her guitarist.  Ryan...I can't remember his last name and I feel terrible about that.  He was incredible.  At one point a guy in the crowd yelled out "Play a hymn!"  Mindy graciously gave him the stage while he took only a few minutes to share his magic with us.  He apparently has a cd...'guitar hymns.'  Me thinks me gonna buy it!!

I will whole heatedly admit that I cried when she sang Anchor.  Did you expect me not to...really?  I think that it's just always gonna be this way with her music.  It will forever be linked to a very tender time in my life.  And I'm just gonna cry about it every once in a while.  OK??!!

There was quite a bit of audience participation.  I sang along with all the songs...but very quietly...I think.  She sounded so perfect.  Not one bad note...not one missing lyric...her voice pure and rich.  So.  Amazing.  I didn't want it to end.  Her final song was "I Do Adore!"  Which my girls love.  She called up all the little kids to come help sing and clap along with this adorable little ditty of a song.  My girls were more than happy to do so.  And it was just so much fun to see them dancing and singing along right at Mindy's feet! 

Savannah at one point hadn't heard her favorite song (Whole Wide World) or Anchor yet and she was getting a little worried that she wasn't going to sing them.  I assured her she would.  I loved seeing her face light up when she did!  A lady came up to me after the concert and said that her favorite part of the night was watching my girls sing along with all of Mindy's songs!  What can I say...I have brainwashed them!!

Payton, Doug, Me and Heidi...enjoying the show!!

So...funny story.  This isn't when I actually met miss Mindy.  Right after the show, Jillian decided that she had to go to the bathroom..."REALLY BAD!"  I tried to maneuver my way through the crowd which had congregated right outside the entry door to meet and greet the artists.  I finally made my way through and bam! there she was.  Daren was there to introduce me with, "Mindy, I'd like you to meet one of your super fans.  This is Clarissa Gifford."  I was holding on to a little person whose bladder was not going to hold much longer.  I had to answer with..."Oh my goodness...I really want to talk with you, but my daughter has to go potty and is about to explode!" Great timing right?  Daren totally thought I was fighting my way through the crowd to meet her but I was just fighting to get to the john!!!  When I finally got around to properly meeting her I was a big. ol. dork.  I tried really hard to control my emotions...but it didn't work.  She knew who I was because of a few messages we had exchanged and from reading my blog...(yep, she's read my blog).  We talked for just a bit and I sobbed on her shoulder and probably mumbled really stupid things that thankfully I can't remember.  But she was very sweet and patient and kind and I love her even more now. 

Of course we had to get one with the entire family!

And one with the wings...which she loved, (and autographed) I might add!

Savannah wanted to meet and get a picture with Debra.

Heidi and Mindy.

Debra and me.  She told me..."You can do it!"  When we talked about her being self taught on the guitar.  Oh, one day!!

The Falter family with the spectacular musicians.  So grateful to them for making this possible.  Took a lot of planning and time...and we appreciated it so very much!!

I think that this will be etched in my mind for...well, forever, really.  I love that I got to have this experience.  To see, hear and meet someone that has made a mark on my life was beautiful.  However silly that may sound...it's true.  I wonder how she feels knowing the effect that she has had on peoples lives.  She must go to sleep with a smile on her face everyday.  She left Olympia with several more fans!!  My people loved her!  The whole experience was quite inspiring and makes me want to go make music...somehow...somewhere.  I sang Anchor at our ward talent show on Friday and I start actual guitar lessons on Monday.  Maybe someday Mindy and I can make music together. Wait...now that did sound stalker-ish!

 I read the blog of a lady who actually hosted a Mindy concert in her home.  I got a little jealous.  I could do that!  I see that happening here in my home and me and Mindy becoming life long friends. OK, I'm starting to scare myself with my "trying not to sound stalker-ish comments that actually do sound stalker-ish!"  But...still...wouldn't that be so  fantastically fantastic?!?!

THANK YOU MINDY GLEDHILL for sharing your awesomeness with me...I mean, us!! 

.....MINDY TIME.....

(like HAMMER TIME...but much cooler, and with ferry wings instead of parachute pants)

It's hard to not talk about something when you love it so much!!  Just 2 days till Mindy Gledhill's Olympia debut and I'm feeling like a giddy teenager.  I will probably be spending quite some time trying to decide what to wear.  Going for a look that won't scream "CRAZY MINDY FAN!"  I do want to come across somewhat normal...even though my insides will be trying to catch all those butterflies and sillies that will be floating around and causing me to squirm and I'll probably be crying the whole dang time!!  There's a part of me that feels a little dorky for being this elated, but then I think...WHO CARES?!  I'm excited about this entire experience and about sharing it with so many people that I love.  23 of them to be exact!! 

If you haven't got your tickets yet, I think you may still be able to get them.  If not, she will be in Portland tomorrow night and Seattle on the 31st.  Go check out her website for more details.  mindygledhill.com. Oh, and go watch her new WHOLE WIDE WORLD (Savannah's favorite song) video on youtube!

So prepare yourselves, because come Thursday you will all be inundated with precise details and a massive amount of pictures of my 'mindy experience'!! 

THE SELF DOUBT MONSTER

I know we have all met him.  He's not the kind of monster that hides under your bed or in your closet.  He follows very stealthily behind you and waits for those moments when you feel the least bit confident.  He has been my shadow this past week.  And he made his presence very well known yesterday.

I started running again last week.  I was dreading starting up for fear of the tantrum my body would throw and the fact that my head might spin enough to send me into unconscious mode.  Unconsciousness avoided...but TANTRUM thrown!  I know that not running or doing anything physically challenging for almost 4 months would obviously do something to my fitness level.  But HOLY HEAVY LEGS BATMAN!!  It was hard to pick those suckers off the pavement...stride after stride.  I made it 2 miles and some change.  Better than my very first attempt last time I started training for a half marathon.  So, I am already ahead of my previous game.  But just like before, I am questioning my decision to do this.  I signed up to do the Rock and Roll Seattle Half Marathon again and I'm feeling a bit crazy.  I felt great about wanting to do it...until I started running again. My husband signed up too and is doing fantastic.  We have gone on a few runs together.  I use the term "together" very loosely.  I am running so slow right now that he and the others we have been running with leave me in their dust.  Which, in all actuality is very disheartening for me.  I wish that it didn't bother me, but it does.  So, I am left with my 'self doubt monster' as my training partner.  He is not encouraging at all.  He feels my head with questions like,  "Why are you doing this again?"  "Do you really think you can do this?"  "You are a joke.  Look at how slow you are going.  You can barely make it 2 miles, do you really think that 13.1 is possible?"  What a meany-head.  He is very persuasive and makes some excellent points.  But I will say that I continue to run even through all that.  He is strong...but I am stronger???

On to yesterdays 'monster' encounter.  I wrote something for a friend a few weeks ago which turned out pretty dang cute if I do say so myself.  Well, upon sharing it with another friend she gave me the idea of trying to get it published.  Just the thought of the possibility feels me with giddiness and excitement.  The more we talked about it the more I was gung ho about going for it.  But then...dun, dun, dun...the monster came.  "Why on earth would you think someone would want to publish this?"  "You are going to get rejected over and over, so why bother?"  "You have got to be kidding yourself that anyone would be interested in buying this!"  See...meany-head!  I do argue with him.  I say "What if they do like it?  What if it does get published and people like it and want to buy it?  This could actually happen!"  "And even if it doesn't, oh well, at least I gave it a shot."  It's been a pretty intense battle.  I want to believe myself.  I want to believe IN myself.  I AM capable of accomplishing things.  But...the monster is so much easier to believe. 

So the battle continues.  But I'm promising to not go down without a fight.  Maybe I'll find a good running path where I can lose him.

Isabelle-isms

"Mom, your tongue is licky.  And teeth are chewy."

Logical thinking from a 3 year old.

~Something About MINDY~

While I was laying in my bed for countless hours and what seemed like endless days after my accident, I watched a ridiculous amount of movies and entire seasons of television shows on Netflix.  I think it's the only time when I could actually get away with something like that.  Anyway, one of my friends, Daren Falter, heard what happened and had a little suggestion to break up the monotony and ease the hours of pain and loneliness (said with a sarcastic undertone).  He introduced me to the fabulous music of miss Mindy Gledhill.  He said that I should look her up on YouTube and told me that he truly believed her music would help me heal faster.  I had heard some of her songs before.  She sings the Emma song on the Nashville Tribute to the Prophet CD which is my absolute favorite song on there.  And come to find out, I had a few of her songs on my itunes.  So I skipped on over to YouTube and was immediately drawn in by her new whimsically fascinating songs.  Her voice is smooth and lovely and so easy to listen to. Her songs tell such imaginative stories that bring you into a whole new eccentrically beautiful world.  And man, do they make you smile!!  I listened to as many of her songs as they had on YouTube over and over.  And of course, while listening, I cried!!  I promptly got onto amazon to order all 3 of her CD's. 

My husband (and a few of my friends) were forced to listen as well because I just wanted to share it with them.  Doug was also taken in.

But...there was one song in particular that grabbed onto both our hearts and hasn't let go.  "Anchor" is the title track to Mindy's newest CD and has become a very special song for Doug and I.

The CD's got here a few days before traveling up to Seattle for my surgery.  As soon as we got in the car, I popped those things in the player and planned on letting them ease my nerves during the drive.  When ANCHOR came on my husband took my hand in his and we both began to cry.  In those moments the words of that song sunk deep into our souls as an anthem to the situation we had been facing.  Doug had been my anchor.  He knew it as well as I did.  No words were spoken.  Just tears and looks of a deeper love and appreciation for each other.  We listened to it about 3 times and just let this tender moment resonate within us. 

The few weeks following the surgery my thoughts would drift back to those moments in the car.  I had pretty much memorized all of the songs on that CD...I just couldn't get enough.  Hearing Anchor time and time again I noticed that the piano part didn't seem to be too complicated.  So...an idea was born.  I wanted to learn this song on the piano and surprise Doug with it.  Only problem.  I don't play the piano and I don't read music.  So, I enlisted some help.  I shared the idea with my friend, Heidi and she was very willing to help me out.  She found the sheet music, ordered it and came to my house with her teaching hat on.  Doug was out of town for work for a few days so I would have time to fiddle around with it before he got home.  My plan was to learn it and practice it as often as possible until it was perfect and then perform it for Doug on Valentines Day.  Well, I learned it a lot faster then I expected and just couldn't wait that long.  Two days after Heidi showed me how to play it, I was ready!!   Being the impatient soul that I am, Valentines Day was just too far away. (Not to mention the kids had been hearing me play and I was afraid they would let the cat out of the bag.) When Doug got home from his business trip, I banished him to the family room so I could get things set up.  I surrounded our piano and dining room floor with candles and turned off most of the lights.  I lead him to his seat by the piano.  He had no idea what was going on.  I had this little speech planned out to say beforehand, but when it came time, words just didn't seem necessary.  I began the song and I think his jaw dropped.  I can't really say I sang it well because emotions seem to mess my voice up while trying to sing, but it didn't matter.  I finished the song and turned to him.  He was beaming with pride and was pretty amazed that I had learned it.  We sat together for a while...sharing another tender moment with this song. 

So, needless to say...we have all become huge Mindy Gledhill fans.  I tell people about her all the time and play that song every day.  The girls ask for her music and dance around to it.  We all love it!!

A few weeks ago, Daren informed me that they were trying to get Mindy to come do a concert in Olympia.  Well, my friends...SHE'S COMING!!  And I couldn't be more excited, thrilled, ecstatic, giddy...  She will be performing at the South Bay grange hall in Olympia on March 30th at 7 pm.  I, along with my family will be there with bells on.  (I am also making it a Young Women's activity.)  So, spread the word and come find out for yourself that there's just something about Mindy!!

THE REST OF THE STORY...

I have been thinking and working on this post for a few weeks now, and it's like I'm at a loss for words.

When something like this happens, it's hard to put it into words.  To describe it to the point where people understand. And it's also hard to remember all that happened.  My emotions are a bit unstable and when I start thinking about the entire experience....well...I cry.

When Doug and I got home from the hospital, he lead me and my spinning, swollen head carefully to the bedroom where my bed and I started our love/hate relationship. We spent the rest of that day sleeping.  Heidi had taken my kids to her house, so it was just us.  I wasn't in a whole lot of pain at this point and didn't want to take any pain meds because of how they make me feel.  One of the reasons for the lack of pain was because of the nerve damage that was done.  I was numb from the upper right side of my lip all the way up to the middle of my scalp.  I was grateful for the numbness. Until my head would itch and I couldn't feel the scratching...torture!

Later on that evening, Heidi brought the kids back.  They walked quietly into my room. They hadn't seen me yet and I was still pretty out of it.  My sweet Savannah started crying immediately and saying how sorry she was that I got hurt.  Jillian and Isabelle had a whole lot of questions and hugs and kisses for me.  And my Payton hugged me, told me that he loved me and quickly left the room.  Doug found him upstairs crying.  He expressed to his Dad how he didn't like to see me hurt.

By Friday, the swelling in my eye had gone down enough for me to open it. I had a little bit of blurry and double vision from the swelling, but other than that, my eye was fine. But the dizziness...oh the dizziness is what kept me from doing things. It was almost like my brain was delaying. I would turn my head, and then my brain would turn...and turn...and turn. The song "I'm so dizzy, my head is spinning.  Like a whirlpool it never ends.." kept coming into my mind. The nausea was...well, nausea. I was hardly eating anything and I was crying.  A lot.  Anytime someone would come see me. Tears.  Anytime I would think about how much my husband was doing for me. Tears.  Anytime, for any reason. Tears.  I guess it was more like uncontrollable sobbing. I was already an overly emotional person. I didn't think it was possible to be more so.  But.  I.  Was. (still am, actually)

The swelling and bruising moved into my other eye.  At this point, Doug said I was looking like an Avatar.

Word spread pretty fast about the accident, and we were inundated with phone calls, messages, prayers, visits, offers to take care of the kids,  cards and meals.  I've said it before, but I have never felt so loved by so many people in my life.  I was so touched by every one's willingness to help and how much they cared.  I loved all the effort that people made to make sure I knew they were thinking about me. 

The swelling started moving down my face and gave me sort of a jowl.  Chewing food was near impossible because of the pressure it would put on the fractures.  I was spending all day...every day in bed.  I would have to call Doug in when I needed to use the bathroom.  And showering was an interesting event.  We put a stool in the shower and Doug would stay there making sure I wasn't falling over.  The "dizzies" (which is my name for the constant brain turning) were just crazy! 

 This was a particularly bad day. 

Looks like I had iodine all over my face.

After about a week of doing nothing I was getting pretty sick of it.  So, one evening, I got up...very slowly.  I was feeling terrible at the fact that Doug was doing everything.  Laundry, dishes, cleaning, taking care of the kids and still trying to do his day job.  Thankfully meals were being brought it from members of our ward, so that was one less thing he had to worry about.  But I felt guilty.  I went into the family room and started picking up a few things.  I was moving the speed of a snail.  Actually slower than that.  I shuffled into the kitchen and started wiping down the counters.  And then...I was overcome by the strangest sensation.  I have never really passed out before.  Obviously I was knocked unconscious in the accident, but I don't remember that.  Things started to feel distant and I could no longer stand.  My legs started buckling and I was falling.  I had started calling out for Doug and thankfully he was right behind me.  He caught me in his arms and slowly laid me down on the cold tile floor.  Waves of blackouts kept coming and going.  I laid there for a good 15 minutes or so. I went back to bed and the nausea began.  I spent the night vomiting, which is horrible in and of itself.  But with a broken face it's amazingly painful!  The next morning I was supposed to be going back to Harborview to meet and talk with the surgeons.  We thought about cancelling...but I just wanted it done.

So, we went.  Very early morning for us.  My appointment was at 8:30 and we had to drive 2 1/2 hours to get there.  It was a very long drive. I brought my bowl to puke in...just in case. It seemed that the episode I had the night before just intensified everything. More dizzy.  More nausea.  More  miserable.

We got through the snowy roads and to the hospital in pretty good time.  It was the day before Thanksgiving but we had left early enough that the roads weren't bust yet. We did the valet parking and asked to parking attendant to bring me a wheelchair because there was no way I was walking.  The attendant came back with one of the biggest wheelchairs I have ever seen.  I felt like a little kid in this thing with my legs dangling.  Doug and I laughed at this.  We wheeled our way through a very complicated building and met with the surgeon.  He told me I needed surgery to repair my cheekbone.  I met with an optimologist to clear my eye issues and did all of the pre-op registration.  But the biggest thing for me this day was when the doc prescribed me little magical patches for my nausea.  They are sea sick patches that you place behind your ears that make the nausea go away.  The ride home was longer (the traffic) but better because of the magic patches!

(Some of the lovely flowers that were brought to me by some lovely people.)

Though the magic patches took my nausea away, they had some side effects.  Dry mouth.  So dry that when I would drink water, the water didn't even feel wet.  And my throat stung.  It also caused my bottom lip to explode in cold sores.  The pictures don't really capture them, but they were pretty impressive.

This picture makes Doug laugh.  This was the day before surgery...

Of course, just when I was starting to look somewhat normal...I go under the knife.  I've never had surgery before and the nerves were hitting me pretty good.  All the doctors and nurses were super nice and informative.  They took good care of me.  They told me of the different possibilities that this surgery could have. Screws, plates, and extra incisions under my eye.  And they said it would take about 1 1/2 hours to do.

They marked me up...

Put on this very stylish cap...

and went to work.

(If you look close enough...you can see that my right cheek is flatter than my left.)

After surgery pictures...so awesome!

45 minutes later the surgeon came and told Doug that everything went fantastically.  The only incision that was made was up under my upper right lip.  They had to cut the muscle away from the bone to get to it and just popped it right back into place.  Everything lined up perfectly and no pins or screws were needed.

A little background on why I think it went so well...

The Sunday before my surgery, my Bishop asked my ward to fast for me that my surgery would go well and that my recovery would be quick.  I was very overwhelmed and touched when I heard this.  It feels weird to be the one that people are doing this kind of thing for.  And I felt very undeserving.  Lots of other people joined in on the fast as well.  I believe that is why it went the way it did.  Lots of faith from lots of people.

I guess I was in a lot of pain and had a bit of nausea afterwards.  I was pumped full of several different kinds of medications...and fluids.  They had put a breathing tube in during the surgery and my throat was very raw as a result.  Note to self; after having a breathing tube in, DO NOT eat anything salty.  Specifically sea salt fries from Wendy's.  Just stick with the Frosty only.

I was supposed to stay overnight, but because everything went so smoothly they sent me home.  My discharge nurse was the best!  She took care of me like a mom and really seemed genuinely concerned about my well being.  I probably paid for them, but she sent me home with 2 hospital pillows to make the ride more comfortable.  Which...it did.  Thank you discharge nurse whose name I can't remember.

Well, if eating wasn't hard enough...it just got harder.  I had to continue my soft diet during which I consumed quite a few Frosty's.  I had to avoid sleeping on my right side and any sort of contact to my cheek.  Too much pressure would, obviously, push the bone back out of place.

So...back to bed I went.

I started to get a little nervous of getting bed sores and my body was sore from laying all the time.  I would get up to sit in the family room every once in a while though.

Unfortunately, the pain was super uncomfortable so I broke down and started taking the prescribed ocycodone.  After only 4 days my body was already developing, let's say...an 'increased desire' for more and a few nights of the most intense headaches I have ever had in my entire life (no exaggeration), I was done.  It only took about a day and a half to 'detox' myself.  Man those things are powerful!

Me and my crooked smile!

Two weeks after surgery.  Exactly 4 weeks after the accident.

The effects of the concussion were still happening and I was still moving very slowly, but I was making progress.  I decided that I was going for my first outing since it happened.  Payton and Savannah's school Christmas concert was on and I just didn't want to miss it.  I put on a pair of jeans, and some make up and we went.  I was exhausted, but thrilled to see my kids up there.  They were ecstatic that I was able to go. 

 One of the hardest things about this whole situation was feeling like I was missing out on life.  I felt very disconnected from everything.  I know that I was being prayed for, thought of, worried about, visited.  But, the loneliness and monotony starts to ware on you.  In those moments I would think about a few people that have suffered much worse things than what I was going through and how I wished that I would have shown those people more love and service in their time of need.

This was a bit of a turning point for me.  Thankfully I was able to go out and participate in getting things ready for Christmas.  Still had to be careful and didn't go or drive anywhere alone, but I was living a little.   I wore myself out every day before Christmas, but I was just so glad to be up and at 'em.  Because I hadn't really been using any muscles...whatsoever, I would get sore from just walking around and my knees were tender and tight.

Things were still numb from the accident and the surgery but slowly coming to life.  

Every once in a while I would get a little electric shock to different parts of my face.  Proof that the nerves were trying to reconnect.  Not very comfortable, but a good sign. 

About 3 weeks after surgery. Me with my surgeon, nurse Charlie and an intern at my post-op appointment.

I really wish I could remember names better...

When I was finally able to go back to church, I wasn't prepared for the overpowering emotions that came that day.  I was so overwhelmed with the most incredible feeling of love.  Everyone was so amazing and so happy to see me and I them.  Being with all those wonderful people again made me realize how important they all are to me.  Every one of them.  When the young women walked into the room for our lesson...I can't really put into words how I felt in those moments.  I love those girls and was so happy to be with them.  

There is no way that I will ever be able to express my gratitude to everyone who has helped me through this little incident.  I will hold onto every special moment that I shared with my friends, loved ones and family that I can.  I am so grateful for the time spent laying on my bed and couch with my friends beside me showing me support and making me laugh..and me making them cry.  Lots of people saw me at my worst.  A weak, un-showered emotional basket case.  But I am so blessed to be surrounded by true friends who just cried with me and saw me through it.  And are continuing to do so.

The most incredible thing about this has been my husband.  On top of doing everything and taking care of me and the kids...he has had to endure the effects that the concussion has had on my mental stability.  The doctor warned us that I would heal much faster on the outside than I would on the inside and it's so very true.   It's like I have the worst PMS ever...all the time.  I'm still healing.  My face feels weird and is still numb in places and the incision is healed but there is scar tissue and the muscles are so tight.  And I have headaches.  Every day.  And I get tired of it.  But there is Doug.  Always here, never complaining.  Happy to do things for me and sad when I am sad.  I have a greater love and appreciation for the person that he is.  I am truly blessed to have him.  Honored, to have him.  He has made this journey more bearable and I love him with every single bit of my soul.

I'm still having 'the dizzies' and not really able to do anything too physical. I've had a  few episodes of short term memory loss, I'm more irrational than I should be and carrying a little more crazy in my pocket then before...but I'm gonna be OK.    

It's been an interesting and humbling experience and obviously one that I will always remember. I've learned a lot...appreciate more...and see the deeper beauty in those around me. The love and support that was given to me and my family through this was nothing less than remarkably phenomenal.