some kind of wonderful

2012-01-31T17:18:00.000-08:00

Announcements, Announcements, Annou-ouncements

(sung as if at Girls Camp)

So a few things have happened in the last couple of days. Let us begin with Sunday.

At Church, the chapel was unusually full of extra family. They had all come to be a part of Ted, (Doug's dad) being called as the new Bishop of our ward. No one was really surprised that it is him...it was just a matter of time. We have no doubt that he will be an incredible Bishop who is totally up for this heavy calling! However, Doug being called as his 1st counselor was a little surprising for us. It is sweet that he gets to serve with his dad again...just a tad different this time. So, back to the stand Doug goes. He's bummed that it wasn't 2nd counselor because that's who gets to control the height of the pulpit... ;)

Being as close as we are with our former Bishop and his family, my kids, well all of us really, are going to have a hard time not calling him Bishop. They are confused as to what to call him. We said they could call him Ron, Grandpa, Grandpa Ron. We sure do love and appreciate Bishop Lambert and all he did to fulfill his calling and love our ward. We are just grateful that we have built a strong friendship with him and his wife (and their kids) that nothing is really going to change other than what we call him.

And now today...

A few weeks ago out of the blue, Payton started having issues with his vision. Mostly blurriness. We let it go for a few days, but it just got worse. He was getting rather frustrated with his new struggle. So, his dad finally took him into the eye doctor. Ironic thing is...we decided to not get vision insurance this year because we hadn't used it. Go figure. Anyway, he got in and less than a week later this is what he now looks like with his spectacles! Surprisingly, he was more excited about it than embarrassed.

AND...

Jillian got student of the month. January was "Respectful." Unfortunately, we didn't know she was getting it so we missed the assembly. Sad we missed her very first school award, but I know (or hope) she will get more. She came home grinning ear to ear and excited about her certificate and special pencil!

2012-01-27T11:08:00.000-08:00

Progress and Boredom

Progress. Last week my doctors office was closed on account of the weather, so I've been stuck not knowing where my progress stood with this whole delivery thing. My curiosity was satisfied yesterday. I am dilated to a 3 and still 80% effaced. The doctor said he wouldn't be surprised if he saw me in the hospital this weekend...I would be surprised if he does. My body likes to take it's time, so I'm not banking on going into labor yet. My husband, on the other hand isn't shy about wanting to get things going, with his numerous suggestions on what we should do. Any guesses what his number one suggestion is??

(Here are a few pictures my husband took of me. Traci wanted black and white shots to display at my baby shower. I think he did a pretty good job! I am 37 1/2 weeks in these. And I feel about 42 weeks!

It's funny, when you are taking pregnant pictures that your hands automatically go to your belly.)

Boredom. So, now I'm just waiting. Trying to be patient and endure the pain that is taking over my body and robbing me of sleep. I have things ready. I've been keeping up with the housework and laundry, which in and of itself is pretty miraculous! I do need to scrub my bathtub though, which I am totally stoked about. Now that I am no longer the YW pres, there isn't that responsibility of planning my lesson for Sunday or worrying about next weeks activity. So, I am just here. Feeling a bit bored and just waiting. I guess I should just enjoy it while it lasts. Maybe I'll go read a book.

2012-01-24T11:34:00.000-08:00

Showered!

My incredible friend, miss Traci, was adamant on throwing me a baby shower. You see...she LOVES throwing parties and is pretty spectacular at it, so I let her. No surprise...she did a beautiful job!!

~The Devine Decor~

~The Fabulous Food~

~The Gorgeous Guests~

~The Hot Hostess~

Traci!

Several people were not able to make it because of the freak weather that decided to come and cause lingering chaos! I missed all of them!

It was a fabulous night with wonderful people, awesome gifts and lots of laughter! Huge thank you to Cheree-ree for bringing some of my favorite foods...(cheesecake and tortilla roll-ups! which I ate way too much of...Love you!), Tabitha for the all her help and the jalapeno jelly! And to every single person that came and showered me, and the baby, with gifts and love!

AND OF COURSE to Traci! You outdid yourself and I loved every bit of it. I truly appreciate all the time and effort you put into making my shower perfect! Thank you so much my friend. You know I love you!

2012-01-20T14:33:00.000-08:00

ALL ABOUT DOUG

This is Doug.

He is my very best friend.

He takes excellent care of me.

And embraces all my craziness.

I know exactly how he feels about me because he tells me every day.

He is the ultimate team mate and eternal companion.

I like him, a lot.

And love him immensely.

2012-01-17T15:07:00.000-08:00

All Good Things Must Come to an End...

For the last 2 years and 7 months I have had the honor of serving as the Toledo Ward Young Women's President. Sunday, I was released.

My heart is a little broken, and I have cried about it several times. Yep...tears are welling up as I type. It is so hard to let go of something that you have poured your heart and soul into and has become a part of who you are. I will say that being released was not a shock. For a few months now I have had a very strong impression that it would happen. I think my Heavenly Father knew I would need time to get used to the idea beforehand. I have had such an amazing time with these girls. There has been so many special, fun, crazy, spiritual, tender filled moments. Which far outweighed the frustration, stress and anxiety filled ones.

I never questioned why I was put in this calling. It came at a time in my life when I needed it most. To me, it was evidence that my Heavenly Father knew what was happening and knew I needed something to grab onto. He was holding out his hand, asking me to take it. It was up to me to grab on. It took me a little bit, but eventually I did grab on with both hands and have been hanging on ever since.

Along with all the sadness, there is relief and comfort. The comfort comes in knowing that this is what my Heavenly Father wants right now....(well, Him and my friend Jill!). And the relief comes because there were a lot of concerns about how I would make it all work when this baby girl arrives. Now, there isn't a question. Things are the way they should be...no matter how difficult it is...sniff sniff!

It's going to take a while to adjust to not think, dream or worry about the next activity, lesson, Presidency meeting, stake meeting, ward council meeting or each young woman individually. Even this morning I caught myself wanting to get a hold of my remarkable counselors about what would have been this mornings presidency meeting. I was very blessed to work with beautiful counselors and secretaries throughout the last few years that really supported, loved and helped me. Love all those ladies so much and appreciate who they are and their love for their callings and the Young Women.

I do have a new calling. I am now 2nd counselor in the Primary. My kids are really excited about that! I'm not worried that the ladies I will be working with will allow me to be (or not be) wherever I need to. I have been in the Primary before and know that I will enjoy all the little kids' sweet spirits.

I know I'm not really letting the girls go. I'm not going anywhere and I will be keeping an eye on them and worrying about each one. These girls will always be a part of me. I love them deeply and they will always be my girls...always. My heart is full of love, memories and a deep gratitude for every single one of them. It has been a huge blessing in my life to serve these incredible, beautiful Young Women.

2012-01-10T15:02:00.000-08:00

First...The New Year

The last 2 weeks haven't been the most fun 'round these parts. After D and Jilli got sick it made it's way to me and Izzy. Thankfully Iz got over it pretty quickly with her 4 year old immune system. But I have been a much different story. Fevers, cold sweats, a 70 year old smokers cough, chest pain, severe congestion, headache, nausea, 2 explosions of cold sores. Bronchitis and sinus infection. But, with some anti-biotics, an inhaler, sinus spray and a lot of love from some beautiful friends and my wonderful Douglas and I think I might be feeling better. Sickness is tough on this pregnant body. I'm ready to be better. So that is how this new year has started out for me. I know, it could have been worse. I could have ran into a brick wall or something.

I haven't really thought about any New Years resolutions. It seems that I make resolutions every day. Be a better wife. Be a better, more loving, and compassionate mother. Pray more. Read my scriptures more. Stop yelling. Be a better Young Women's president. Be more organized. The list goes on and on. Every day I wake up with more resolve. To be a little better than I was the day before. So, for my New Years resolutions I guess I should dig a little deeper and see what I can come up with. IF I decide to do it at all. Sometimes I feel that I'm just setting myself up for failure with this kind of thing. I'll let you know how it goes.

Second...the belly.
I know, it's been a while.

This is what I see...every day right now. A 36 week lovely lump of baby. Don't you want to just rub it?

I look down and think, "wow, that is some belly." I caught myself just watching my kids the other night and being amazed that I had 4 beautiful children. I glanced at my husband and 13 years of memories flooded my brain. Then, I looked down and thought, "we are having our 5th child." Soon I will be the mother of 5. Five. F.I.V.E. That's pretty unreal. I giggled.

As the time draws closer and closer I get a little undone with all the thoughts, worries and concerns that come along with giving birth and bringing home a brand new baby. Then, I take deep breaths and remind myself that I've done this 4 times before, I can do it again.

I examined my belly pretty thoroughly the other night to see if I've developed any new stretch marks (with fingers crossed). You see, this marvelous girl of mine has worked her way up so high, I feel that she just might kick my throat at times. I've carried all my girls high, but this is quite remarkable. My skin and ribs are experiencing pain they never have before. Thankfully, there are no new stretch marks at this time and no bruising all over my ribs which I expect to see every day...no evidence of the pain. It's like when you hit your shin bone crazy hard on something and expect to have this massive bruise the next day that you can show everyone as proof of what you went through...and then you wake up with nothing to show. No bruise, just pain. On the upside of things, I do look down at my cleavage and smile to myself. I've missed those girls immensely and I'm glad they are back for a little while. And so is the hubby.

Things are starting to move around as my body prepares for delivery, and my movement slows daily. Everything feels a bit tender and the evidence of the upcoming transition is apparent. I know these last few weeks will be spent doing last minute preparations and spending a lot of time off my swollen feet. I think it's funny how everyone treats you so delicately when you're with child. But, I do love it (to a point) and why not take advantage of it while it lasts?

I'm hating the way I feel and look. But I have decided something and hope that I can just stick with it. I'm embracing my pregnant self as best I can for these last 4 weeks. I'm having a baby and that is a beautiful thing. I have a life growing inside me and I shouldn't be ashamed of how that has changed every single inch of my body. I struggle with loving myself at any stage, but especially right now. So, this will be a fight for me I think, but one that I am determined to win. I will try not to examine my chubby face and thicker thighs with disgust and I'll try not to long for my body I had before I got pregnant. Which when I look back at pictures I hit myself for. (Note to self: next time you get thin, appreciate it a lot more!)

Does this shirt make my belly look big?

We have yet to decide on a name for this little one. Doug and I are of differing opinions. Right now he and my Bishop are calling her Chuck. And knowing Doug, that's probably what he will call her for the rest of her life. I am leaning towards one name in particular at the moment but am still keeping my ears open for anything that might feel a bit more 'right'. Naming your child is a special and delicate process. I know that when she gets here we will know for sure what she should be known as.

2012-01-08T12:23:00.000-08:00

Christmas

Christmas Eve brought us back to the church for our annual Christmas Eve dinner. My Italian sister-in-law has brought her tradition to this Irish family. She makes some mean spaghetti and meatballs. Enough to feed an army...which is almost what we equal.

We almost didn't go seeing as a nasty sickness had hit my husband and Jillian for several days at this point. But Doug didn't want us to miss out, so we went, and he was miserable. He suffered through the dinner, an exciting exchange of white elephant gifts, and the opening of grandma's handmade pajamas for all the grand kids. A quick clean up after that and we were on our way back home to put the overly anxious kids and my sick husband to bed. Funny that this is the one night a year they can't wait to be tucked in. Morning can never come quickly enough.

We always make the kids wait for everyone to wake up before we do anything. So, slowly...one by one they venture into our bedroom and we all just cuddle and wiggle and giggle in excitement, letting the anticipation build.

I think they were all pleased with what they got. It was a little sad to have sickies in the house on what is supposed to be one of the best mornings of the year. Jillian tried her best to enjoy the process, but just wasn't herself. And Doug, well...he went back to bed. I made the kids breakfast and watched them play with everything. We visited with the in-laws next door for a bit and then came back home to quickly get ready for Church. I love Christmas being on a Sunday...it just seems to fit!

Doug mustered up enough energy to go with us, and we both sang with the choir. The primary kids sang a few songs that made me all teary-eyed. It was a simple and lovely program.

The rest of the day was pretty laid back. We visited some friends for a bit and then came home to eat our Christmas dinner. I sent the kids to get ready for bed and then realized I hadn't taken a picture of them in their Christmas get-ups. So, I made them change back and snapped a few shots of them.

All in all...it was a pretty good day. Filled with sniffles, fevers, smiles, laughter, love and a great Christmas spirit.

2012-01-08T11:27:00.000-08:00

Christmas Concert

just a day before 'winter break', the kids had their Christmas concert. the middle school gym was jam packed with parents, friends and other family members. it was kind of a rough night for savannah and jilli (they had both come home sick with fevers from school), but they didn't want to miss it and persevered through it all.

i'm so happy that mr. coyner (jilli's kindergarten teacher) takes the time out of his crazy schedule and volunteers to get this thing together every year. it was a great night!

2012-01-08T10:31:00.000-08:00

Graham Cracker Mayheim

About a week before Christmas, all of Doug's local-ish siblings and their kids got together for the graham cracker house decorating event. Let's face it, this family is getting so big that pretty much all of our holiday celebrations end up at our church building. So, that's where we headed.

There was sooooo much candy, the kids loved it!!

Everyone was smart (except me, being the lazy one) and 'glued' their houses beforehand so it was just a matter of the decor. There were a few extra pre-made houses that my kids scored so it all worked out. Izzy and Jilli shared one and did pretty well (with my guidance) at deciding together how they wanted to embellish their digs.

Savannah, getting all creative!

Payton working away on his masterpiece.

The finished products...

Payton added rocket boosters to his.

And here are all (minus a sick one) of the kids. I think there are more kids here than there is in our ward primary...and that's not all of the grandkids, just the local ones. Way to go Gifford family for trying to multiple and replenish the earth single-handedly.

2011-12-13T22:21:00.000-08:00

Pressing Ci-i-ider Through a Straw....

or, a cider press

Doug and I had about 500 lbs of apples left from a Young Single Adult activity and needed to use them before they went bad. Thankfully there is a great couple in our ward that owns a President Jorgensen Handmade Cider Press. They were wonderful to let us and about 4 other families come and press the crazy amount of apples for FHE last night.

It was pretty dang cold out, but the kids had fun helping out with this amazing contraption. They did go in and out of the garage, snacking on hot dogs, chips, hot chocolate and delicious peach cobbler. So, they did thaw out every once in a while.

I'm thinking that we got about 30-40 gallons of apple cider. And it's yummy! The apples are Yakima fuji's and super sweet. I'm not a juice/cider drinker, but there is something about this stuff that makes me want to drink glass after glass of it. Hmmm....maybe it's the pregnancy.

The moon started to rise while we were wrapping things up. It was so beautiful.

It was a great night spent with family and friends...and lots of apples!

2011-12-07T15:26:00.000-08:00

Tree Time

Last year we were very blessed to have one of my lovely friends deliver our Christmas tree. We probably wouldn't have had one otherwise.

This year I am a little more anxious than usual to get decorations and all things Christmas going. I think it's because I couldn't last year.

We took the kids out of school a bit early on Monday (which they were ecstatic about) to go searching for the perfect tree. I love living out where we do, because there is a tree farm at almost every corner. This year we tried a new place just about 3 miles down the road from us. There we met a lovely lady named Sharon and we took ourselves through her picturesque property complete with a log house and a little bridge over a small creek. Once you start to look at all the trees they tend to start looking very similar.

Savannah spotted this one. We looked at several others just to be sure and then came back to it.

My little lovies!!!

Everyone insisted on helping carry this beauty to the car. I love when they want to be so helpful!

Sharon (the lady in the back) also makes pretty incredible live wreaths. I saw a gigantic one and asked how much. Only 30 bucks! I snatched it up. So, if you drive by my house, look at the front porch where it is hanging! I love it!

Our FHE activity was, of course, decorating this Fraser tree. We usually go with a Douglas fir, but this turned out perfect for us. I think Sharon will have some returning customers next year!!

2011-11-23T10:51:00.000-08:00

The 'Power' of Prayer

Along with many others, we lost power last night. About 3 a.m. my eyes shot open for some odd reason and all I saw was pitch black. I didn't really fall back asleep very soundly because of the baby bump and the loud noises outside. I kept saying little prayers about the power coming back on, thinking about the Thanksgiving turkey in our fridge and the insane amount of water that we wouldn't be able to pump out of the basement.

Around 5:30 Payton and Savannah crept inside our room. "Mom, we lost power. It's really dark! We said a prayer so we could make it downstairs!" They climbed in bed with us and started talking about the weather and how much they didn't like it. Savannah, bless her heart, is just like her mother. She gets a little worked up over things like this and starts worrying about everything. "I really don't like this at all." She said. There was several minutes of silence and then Savannah said, "Mom...Dad...Payton. Can you say a prayer with me?" Dad asked what exactly she wanted to pray about. And she said that the electricity would come back on. We told her to go ahead. It was a short and simple prayer. She thanked Heavenly Father for the day and asked Him to help us be safe. And then she asked that the power would come back on and ended it. In the instant she said amen...the kitchen light that we always leave on at night for the kids flickered back on and the heat turned on in our bedroom! She sat up straight in bed and yelled..."THE ELECTRICITY IS BACK ON!!" We were all a little stunned and started laughing a little. "That is so awesome," she said. Seriously, it was pretty dang incredible. I just can't help thinking about it and smiling.

So, to anyone living near by us whose power was out, I will just have you know that your power came back on because of the faith and prayer of my little 8 year old sweetheart!

2011-11-17T22:09:00.000-08:00

ONE YEAR AGO...

For the past week I have been reminiscing about Hawaii. Surfing, para sailing, jet skiing, luau's, walking the beach, soaking up the sun. Oh that glorious sun!! Sweet memories. That's where I was one year ago. But with those memories come the memories of the night after we got back. November 17th. Can't help but drift to those moments...when things changed.

Not that I'm not constantly reminded of my accident with the dizzy spells, nerve damage and scar tissue from the surgery, but

hopefully this date will forever be a reminder to me of how blessed I am, how deeply I love and appreciate my friends and family and how grateful I am to be here.

2011-11-16T16:04:00.000-08:00

MOZARTS in the MAKING

Piano Recital

November 12, 2011

Payton and Savannah have been taking piano lessons for the last year. A sweet lady in our ward offered lessons for free. We couldn't pass that up. It hasn't been the easiest thing in the world to get them to practice the way they are supposed to. But it has been awesome to hear their progress.

They each played 3 songs. Unfortunately, the recital was held in the chapel so I couldn't record it. Just know that they ROCKED IT!! Doug and I were beaming!

Savannah and Payton with Lila Burgin. She is very sweet and patient and we greatly appreciate the (free) time she devotes to teaching our kids. What an amazing gift and act of service!!

2011-11-04T14:42:00.000-07:00

Halloween Weekend

Thursday; Pumpkin Carving

Jillian's (the big one)

and

Izzy's (the polka-dot one)

Savannah's (back)

and

Payton's (front)

Mine.

If you couldn't tell, it's a G for Gifford.

Friday; Party Time.

Jillian's class party.

Butterfly and Bumble Bee

They had a blast buggying down with Mr. Coyner's music!

Also, on Friday, Doug and I went to an adult Halloween Costume party. We did dress up, I just didn't get any pictures. We went dressed as our host and hostess whom have a blog called 'Training With a Track Coach and his Adorable Wife'

So...we were Track Coach and Adorable Wife. I even had a little spy (the sister) go to their house and 'borrow' some of their athletic gear. I'm proud to say that everyone thought it was hilarious and we won for most creative costumes! Glad they were good sports about it!!

Saturday; Trunk or Treat

Savannah the Pirate Princess

Isabelle the Bumble Bee

Payton as Zorro...without his mask. (It was a last minute costume)

Jillian the Butterfly

Doug and I headed to the temple with the youth that night, so the kids got lucky when grandma said she would take them to the Trunk or Treat.

Monday, we hit the streets of Onalaska for our very first time taking the kids trick or treating. We usually just stick to the Trunk or Treat. It was an interesting experience.

We visited a few friends and then came back to Grandma's house for some family activity's with the cousins. It involved donuts and apples and lots of spit. Good times.

2011-11-04T13:36:00.000-07:00

A VERY LONG ROAD...show

October 22, 2011

This year our stake had a Road Show. That's where every ward has to come up with an original 15 minute play and then perform it for the entire stake. Oh, and it's a competition! For some odd reason, I got myself all caught up in it...ended up writing the script and helping direct! I think I'll think twice about that next time around.

I tried to get as many people in the ward to participate as I could. Of course that meant my children. They were thrilled to be a part of it.

The title of ours was "Dot and the Seven Seekers." We had a theme that we had to base the play on. That happened to be the 13th Article of Faith.

The girls were part of the 'Mini's' and Payton ended up taking on the roll of a Triple D (he was Disobedience). They were so stinkin cute and enthusiastic! I think I might have some thespians in this little family of mine. The audience LOVED the hair-do's!

Jillian among some other Mini's.

Isabelle...that hair was pretty impressive!!

We used small water bottles!

Payton with the other Triple D's and their followers.

The lady that was taking pictures for me didn't get a straight on shot of Savannah...so this is as good as it gets for her. You can almost see her behind Izzy's hair!

It was fun to be a part of. Lots of work and time, but fun. Unfortunately we didn't win the big prize, but everyone had a blast! And that's all that really matters...at least that's what I keep telling myself!

2011-11-02T10:22:00.000-07:00

26 Weeks...

and counting...slowly.

Instead of complaining about every little thing that I don't like about being pregnant, I am going to stay positive and recite what I read the other day and leave it at that.

"I GROW HUMANS. WHAT'S YOUR

SUPER POWER?"

2011-10-30T21:37:00.000-07:00

I can't seem to stop crying after watching this. Puts things into perspective.

2011-10-24T11:40:00.000-07:00

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!

Thursday was D's birthday. He doesn't like birthdays very much. He has been dreading this one in particular. 35 seemed awful to him. He has heard many things about 35 being an age where it just goes down hill from then on. I think he is silly. But, hey, I might feel the same as he does 4 years from now.

No party thrown. No big to do. He just wanted low key and what every other male wants for his birthday... So I tried to oblige him as much as possible.

(Us last year in Hawaii...which I realized I never blogged about.)

It was a thrilling birthday for him. After our typical morning rituals we headed to the scrap metal place in Portland. I know, I know. We are quit the adventurers. Seeing as we were hauling about 2 1/2 tons of tractor implements and old appliances...it was an adventure.

We then stopped at PARKER'S in Longview. This place has the best artichoke, jalapeno cheese fondue!! They serve it with little pieces of toasted bread. Delish! We walked out of there about 10 pounds heavier and in some pain!

When we finally got home we took off for the blood drive. Yep, my husband gave blood on his birthday! I usually do too, but because I am with child, they didn't want my blood. So, I just hung out with the kids and waited. Then it was a race to get home so I could change and come back to the church for my stake meeting. Bummer deal on D's day. But he understood and stayed with the kids, enjoyed dinner and cinnamon rolls (courtesy of his sister Nanci and his Mom) and then put the kids to bed. But then we reunited after my meeting and headed to Applebee's for some late night hot wings with some fantastic friends. I was still stuffed from lunch, so I didn't eat too much!

Then it was home to, um....go to bed??

I wrote a little poem which Doug thought I should share on my little blog. He thought it was hilarious!

My sweetie, my lovely

My Douglas delight.

Here we are again on your

Brisk birthday night.

For 35 years

This world has been blessed

By you and your charm

Simply the Best.

We won't mention the labor

Your mother went through

Or the things that you did

When you were just two.

The hair or the shiner

In your kindergarten pic

Or any of those years

Where you looked pretty slick.

We won't talk about all

Those years that you drooled

Or slept walked leaving stains

Where your urine had pooled.

With your neighbor those times

When doctor you'd play

The mischief you'd create on

That hill made of clay.

Or as you got older

Those joy rides you'd take

Let's not talk about those

No no...for goodness sake.

Oh those ventures in cars

Your LUV and dirt bikes

We won't mention those OR

ALL the girls that you liked.

Let's move on to the years

Where things just got better

And you prepared yourself

For your mission letter.

The best two years of your life

You have said

Lots of shoes you wore out

Lots of scriptures you read.

And of course that lead to

THE GREATEST DECISION OF YOUR LIFE

And that is when you

Chose me as your wife!

The last 14 birthdays

Together we've spent

And each one that passes

Proves more, you're heaven sent.

The boy that you were

And the man you've become

I love every bit

YES ALL...not just some.

This world is indeed

A more awesome place

Since the moment you came

With that handsome face.

I love you my sweetie

My Douglas delight

Happy 35th to you

Let's finish celebrating this night!

(wink wink)

2011-10-19T22:42:00.000-07:00

MY SOCCER STARS!

Now that the season is almost over I thought I'd do a little post about this years soccer experience.

Savannah loves it more than she did last year. She has really improved and is on a great team with an awesome coach. We are lucky to have him at all. There almost wasn't a U10 girls team because they couldn't find a coach. This guy stepped in with only boys football coaching under his belt. He has been great and has lead the girls to lots of victories!

I love to see Vann out there with her little legs at full speed. She can really move!

U12 is a little different. Mainly the size of the field they play on. It's been cool to see the more competitive games. Payton still loves it...but might be trying football next year instead. We will see how long that lasts.

Payton almost didn't have a team either. There were not enough boys signed up for an Onalaska team. So they dispersed the boys to other surrounding schools. Thankfully we didn't have to go terribly far. Napavine is just a town over from us. And it just so happens that one of Payton's best friends is on that team. They both were totally stoked about it.

Drake and Payton being goof balls!

I told the boys to enjoy this because it may not happen again. It's been great seeing them on the field together as teammates!

Only a few more games to go and the season will come to an end. Another year of soccer in the books. It's bitter sweet.

For me, right now...it's more sweet than bitter!

2011-10-07T10:44:00.000-07:00

Yep, that's how I have felt the last couple of days. I hate to blame it on the simple fact that I am pregnant...but I'm going to anyway. Frankly, I have no other reason. I just feel sad.

I was having a discussion with my husband last night about how grumpy I had acted yesterday morning. I knew I was grumpy. I heard myself snap at the kids. I felt the unnecessary tension in my body and the scowl on my face. I fought back the tears. And yet...I didn't stop being grumpy.

During this conversation with the hubs, I started to really think about how difficult being pregnant is. It feels as if it takes me over. I try to be as normal as possible because I don't want to be a crazy prego lady. But goodness gracious, that is almost impossible. So, when I am a crazy prego lady, it makes me feel terrible and then I feel sad about how I acted. It's a vicious cycle. I wish that I felt like I had more control over it.

Now add to the insane emotions, the body issues. Oh my goodnes, the body issues! I know I am pregnant. I know that changes happen. This is my 5th pregnancy. Believe me, I KNOW! And I know this isn't permanent for me (cause I will work my tail off after this baby comes.) But...I still hate it. I hate that I can feel my thighs rubbing together when I walk. I hate that I have to wear layering sweaters to hide my muffin top love handles. I hate that my face if filling out. I hate that my legs are swelling to an uncomfortable size every day. I hate that I hang out with my friends and their non-pregnant bodies and it makes me feel like an amazon woman. And most of all, I hate that it bothers me so much and that this has so much effect on my happiness. It makes me so sad. Oh, how I wish it didn't. And then...I just stay sad. I wallow in it. Even when I am doing a million other things, the sadness is still there. How ridiculous do I sound? How womanish do I sound? I get so frustrated with myself I want to punch something. (Like a pillow, cause I would rather not brake my hand or anything.)

.DEEP BREATH.

A baby. That's what will come of this. Another beautiful little girl. A blessing. I know that. And yes...it is worth it.

It's just hard and uncomfortable and one giant emotional roller coaster. One that I will be riding for at least the next 4 months. HA! Who am I kidding? As soon as this one ends, I'll be jumping on the next one. Hello POST PARTUM!

2011-10-03T22:45:00.000-07:00

Apple Harvest and Planking

So, last year D and I did the Onalaska Apple Harvest 8K (5 mile) run. We both finished with pretty 'turtle-ish' times. But we were determined to come back this year and do better.

Well, seeing as I didn't actually run the 5 miles, I will have to push that goal back to next year. Having gotten home around 1a.m. from the temple the night (or morning) before, we almost didn't make it to the 8:30a.m. race. But we drug ourselves out of our beds and our eyes were almost open by the time we got there to register...10 minutes before it started. We figured it would be fine. Not like it's some crazy, high attendance race or anything. It's Onalaska, people!

I did, however do the 2 mile walk. They had a little apple plaque for the top walker. When I saw that, I got a little excited. For some strange, somewhat unrealistic reason, I thought for a minute that maybe I could win it. Don't laugh. But as soon as the walking began, that thought was blown out of the water by this super speed walker lady in bright pink. She took off...and I didn't see her again. I shrugged my shoulders and thought maybe I could talk them into having a 'top pregnant lady walker' category. I just walked along side my friend, Jill, as we complained about different pains that were stabbing us. Sadly, both of us were soar the next day. Hey...we walked at a pretty good pace and worked our hips, I promise.

D, on the other hand did great on his run! His improvement from where he was last year still really impresses me. His finish time last year was 57 min and some change. (Behind my finish of 56:48...or something like that). This year he came in at 43:57. That is a 14 minute difference. So proud of my man! The competition was a little more intense this year, so instead of getting 1st in his age division, he got 3rd. Still a 'podium finish' he says. AND we both won stuff at the drawing. He won a $10 gift certificate to Buzz N Blooms (a local flower, hair salon, coffee, tanning, shop) and I won a $25 gift certificate to Outback Stake House. So much better than our last year's prize of a coffee mug! A few of our friends that ran with us last year and some first timers were there and did amazing, with first place plaques and age division wins. And of course, drawing prizes. Hope Ron is enjoying his new Onalaska Loggers jacket. Have you washed it yet?? ;)

Unfortunately, we had to take Payton to his soccer game in Rochester so we didn't stick around for the Apple Harvest Festivities. We got home from the game, watched the 2nd session of conference and then vegged out a bit. D headed to the Priesthood session (they have dinner before the broadcast) around 3:45. I finally decided to take my aching hips and the kids to see what was left of the festival. We got there and all that was there was, a bluegrass band playing it's final songs, ponies no longer giving rides and lots of trash. My kids were bummed. But, we did run into some friends and we ALL practiced our 'PLANKING' skills. It was pretty hilarious. Did it make up for missing the parade, the petting zoo, rock wall, pony rides, face painting, karaoke, arts and crafts, apple pressing, and elephant ears?? Probably not for them. But I laughed so hard that evening, it was worth it to me.

This might just be our new family hobby.

2011-10-03T21:43:00.000-07:00

IT'S ART...

It's actually purple nail polish. All over my bathroom wall.

I bet you are wondering which one of my children did it. If I were you, my first assumption, along with most others would be, the lovely mischievous Jillian Clair. This is totally up her alley, right? Lately one of her favorite things to do is stick her little fingers in the wax of my Scentsy burners and then leave a trail of dried wax behind her. And she has loved filling bottles with water. The conditioner bottle, the soap bottle, and now the tubes of toothpaste. So, yeah...this could totally have been her.

BUT

It wasn't. It wasn't any of my children at all.

IT. Was. Me.

YEP, I'm the guilty party. I was just shaking my favorite bottle of polish around to put a coat on the toesies when the slippery glass bottle fell right out of my hands, landed on the glass scale and shattered all over the place. Leaving the art work on the wall, scale and floor. I just stared for a minute and shook my head. Did I seriously just do that? Getting it off the floor and scale really wasn't that big of a deal. Nail polish remover. But, not the wall. If you look to the right of the pic you will see a little bit of lighter, smudged looking color. That was my attempt at using the remover on the wall. Ummm...it takes the paint off.

So, now I'm stuck. Not sure what I should do. Looks like I might be picking out a new paint color for the bathroom. Sigh. (and a little giggle.)

2011-09-27T16:17:00.000-07:00

Going Vintage

September 17, 2011

Several months ago a lovely lady asked me to be in her fund-raising vintage clothing fashion show. I was actually a bit giddy. It just sounded like so much fun. I didn't even care that I would probably be showing quite a bit and limited to what I would be able to wear. I just wanted to do it.

Just thinking about it reminded me of when I was about 9 years old. I was in a community fashion show at the local Holiday Inn. My mom worked for KMart and I was chosen to model a cute little outfit. It was teal colored with leggings and a striped skirt. Probably something I would put my girls in now. I remember getting my hair done, make-up on and really falling in love with the clothes I had on. I was sad when they said I couldn't keep them. Shouldn't that have been my payment??

I waited till about 3 days before the show to pick out what I would wear. Sharon (the lovely lady) actually sells the vintage clothing online and had an entire room full of clothes from the 20's and on. It was fun playing dress-up, although I felt a little silly trying to shove these baby curves into some of those dresses. I found my four outfits and showed up that Saturday night excited to be involved.

This was my 'fall' outfit. It was an 80's light green lace dress paired with a 40's shrug. Interesting combination as far as decades go. But I had to have some way of covering up the fact that it wouldn't quite zip up the back! That shrug ended up being sold to someone in the audience that couldn't live without it.

It was more nerve-racking than I thought it would be. I was just gonna go out and have fun and be silly...but chickened out and just put on a huge nervous smile.

(Please forgive the quality of pictures. You see, my husband was taking them and he will be the first to admit that photography is not his strong suit!)

This is my 'Winter' outfit. The material truly felt like upholstery! It was a 50's cream, with a bit of texture dress. This was Doug's favorite. He said it reminded him of Jackie O. The hat was an interesting last minute addition. It had fruit all over it and sharp edges that kind of dug into my head. But, maybe that was to help it stay on.

My 'Spring' dress. I loved this one!! It was a 60's periwinkle colored dress with a sort of netted over lay. I felt so girly in it! I got a little more brave and walked with my hands behind my back and put a little more spring in my step...I know...I shouldn't have been so crazy!

And lastly, my 'Summer' number. This dress was a 70's flowered flowy thing. It was actually completely see-through. So, I had to add a little something of my own to help that situation out. I actually really liked this one. It made me feel a little like a flower child but I loved how long and flowy it was. Doug, on the other hand was NOT a fan!

When I saw these pics, there was a part of me that was a bit horrified. It appears that none of these dresses where very figure flattering and I was very hesitant to even put them up publicly. But, oh well. This was something, out of the ordinary, that I did and I had a blast doing it. All the other 'models' were super fun and helpful (Thanks Carlie!) and we saw a bit more of each other changing in the back storage room of the Toledo Senior Center than we imagined. But we all laughed and had a fabulous time together.

Can't wait to do it again next year!

2011-09-23T08:45:00.001-07:00

2011-09-22T21:21:00.000-07:00

BIRTHDAY GIRL!

Sweet Isabelle Grace celebrated her 4th birthday September 13th. It was a Tuesday, so all the other kids were at school, Doug was at work...so it was just me and her. I decided that she would have more fun with other kids around. I called a little last minute play date with some of her friends. Threw some cupcakes in the oven sprinkled them with her choice of NERDS and we were off to the King of Burgers.

Among several little munchkins (who were a bit camera shy) was Isabelle's best friend, Quinton. This guy already knows how to woo the ladies. He has brought Iz several flowers as a token of his affection. All be it, some of them have been wilty or dead...but that just doesn't matter!

Lovely Girl. This fabulous hair clip was made by Brook and her daughter. It just so happened to match Isabelle's birthday outfit perfectly!

After hours of visiting, running and sweating we headed back home.

Later that evening we had a little family gathering and stuffed our faces with my amazingly decorated cake (she wanted suckers and sour gummy worms...hmmm) and ice cream. It was a good day that I believe was enjoyed by the birthday girl!

This little lady is a crack up. Her personality is really starting to shine and develop...and she is hilarious!! She has a fascinating imagination, sweet dance moves and has already started a career in songwriting. She makes 5 or 6 songs up a day! She's on a roll people!!

Love. This. Girl.

2011-09-19T22:10:00.000-07:00

Half Way There...

I thought before I played catch up with the happenings of the amazing Gifford family, I would post my belly bump pics. I didn't want to get that far off of where I actually am. I am officially 20 weeks along today. The half way mark. A part of me thinks, "Wow, I'm already half way." And the other part of me thinks, "Wow, I still have 20 more weeks to go!"

Yep...that's my belly. There it is. In all it's glory.

So, a few things that have developed over the last 6 weeks. Weight gain. Doc appointments that tell me about the weight gain. Started to feel the little thing move and kick my insides. My sciatic nerve being pinched causing my leg to, yet again, be numb. More weight gain. Braxton hicks...GALORE! (Speaking of which, here comes one now!) Less exercising...no excuse there, just plain laziness and exhaustion. Although I DID ride 15 miles on the ever so comfortable stationary bike today while watching the Primetime Emmy awards! More sitting on the couch. More complaining about said weight gain (while eating sugary, fatening foods). I probably should stop before I give too much of myself away.

It really has been a pretty low key, easy peasy pregnancy this go round.

When people ask me how I'm doing, I seem to always answer "FAT AND SASSY!" Cause that's just how I'm feeling.

2011-09-11T22:30:00.000-07:00

to my douglas. happy 13th anniversary.

2011-09-02T11:02:00.000-07:00

reading, writing and rythmatic

first day of school

august 30, 2011

getting the kids ready to start school is always a little nostalgic for me. it brings back memories of getting our clothes out of lay-a-way at kmart and trying to find the cutest folders and locker accessories.

it was an exciting time...

this year, i'm sending one more away. jilli bean has been waiting very impatiently to go to school, take her lunch and ride the bus home. she woke up with as much excitement as chirstmas morning. it is actually quite comforting to know that she was perfectly happy to go and not going to miss me one bit.

savannah started 3rd grade and is still happy about school. hope it last for a while longer.

payton, my 5th grader, is a different story this year. unfortunately, he has started expressing dislike for school and how he wishes he didn't have to go. i'm a mean mom and tell him that he might as well make the most of it because he still has a long way to go.

they are getting so big...time is going by so fast.

we went inside and took everyone to their classrooms. we had gone to the open house the day before, so they knew where to go, it was just us parents holding on a little longer. we took jillian last because we thought it would take the longest. definitely not the case. she would barely sit still long enough for me to get a picture. she said her goodbye, gave her pretty little smile to us and she was gone. didn't even look back. no attachment issues there. no tears were shed, no worries on how everyone would do, just smiles and contentment.

so, it's just me and izzy here at home. it hasn't been just me and one kid since payton was 2. iz and i have until feburary to soak up as much one on one time as possible. to help her feel a little less sad about not being in school with her siblings, i have assured her that she will be my number one helper when the baby comes. now that is what she tells everyone and she seems to be pretty happy about that. let's just hope it's still the case when the little one gets here.

so the choas has begun. early mornings, sack lunches, homework, soccer. why did summer have to end so quickly?

2011-08-23T21:24:00.000-07:00

BISHOP'S CHALLENGE

TRIATHLON

Six months ago, our bishop decided to give the youth a little bit of a challenge. He came up with 3 areas in which he wanted the youth to improve themselves. Financially, spiritually and physically. He challenged them to earn money and learn the law of tithing, read the Book of Mormon and train for a triathlon. Let's just say the enthusiasm for the last one was highly lacking. But, we told them it was happening one way or another and it would be wise of them to train. A few of them took it seriously and trained really hard. Others...not so much. He also opened it up to anybody in the ward that wanted to do it.

He tried to involve the entire word and asked the members to be mentors for the youth. To help encourage them, read with them, train with them, whatever they could do to help. There were several people who jumped in and really helped whom they mentored.

Pulling off this triathlon was not an easy task. Thankfully we had a lot of people working on it for 6 months. The week before was a little hectic with last minute craziness, but when race morning arrived it really came together.

Saturday morning we hustled and got the courses and water stations set up, the finish line decorated and everyone registered. I was a little sceptical as to how it was all going to play out...

For some strange reason, about a week before the race, I decided to participate. I was super nervous about the swimming part and how it would effect my increased dizzy spells. I should have been more concerned with how it would effect my legs.

We opted for a controlled swimming environment instead of open waters. We started out at the Chehalis pool. There were only 21 people doing this, so we all jammed into the pool at once. It was pretty funny actually and thankfully no one got kicked in the face.

This was pretty dang exhausting. I actually haven't swam sense before the accident and my body was a little shell shocked. I honestly gave it all I had and had to flip on my back a few times to rest a little. But when I did that, my brain spun and I almost had to stop. But, thankfully it went away and I was able to fight my way through the rest of the swim. When I went to get out of the pool and headed for my borrowed bike, my legs stopped working. I actually couldn't lift my feet off the ground and ended up dragging the tops of my toes across the concrete. What's a little blood spill during a triathlon anyway? I got to my bike and Doug asked why I was walking so funny. I had to explain it to him and just felt silly.

It took me a pretty long time to transition to my biking gear. But I didn't really care...at all. I was lucky to be moving. I had to stretch out a little before hopping on the two wheeler and felt everything tightening back up as soon as I started to peddle.

The ride went over the freeway passing Stan Headwall Park and then back. It went smoothly though and was a pretty flat course. Which I was grateful for. I stopped a few times to check on a few of the young women and made sure they were doing OK. When the running portion started I almost couldn't do it. I was more shuffling than running, but still...I was moving. The course was a little behind Penny Playground through the neighborhoods back there and the back to the park. It took my legs a few minutes to get rid of the heavy sensation that comes when transitioning from a bike but eventually I got into the swing of it and just went for it. I walked a little ways and it was really hard to make the mental effort to start running(shuffling) again, but I did.

Somehow I was able to muster up some last minute strength and sprint to the finish. At least I felt like I was sprinting but really anything would have felt fast in comparison to the speed I was going.

And then, I finished...with my head cocked to the side (that's just how I run I guess). I was super happy to see that amazingly decorated finish tunnel! Doug was relieved to see me cross that amazingly decorated finish line tunnel. I guess he was a little worried about me after seeing how much my legs were not working after the swim.

I think this picture represents my enthusiasm when seeing my Young Women cross the finish line pretty well. I seriously was so stinking proud of every single one of them! This was not an easy thing to do and I was just happy that they showed up to do it at all!!

I was insistent that we get medals for everyone. Who wants to do something like this and not have something to hang around their neck? Not me! So I ordered medals from a little store in town and I think the majority of the participants were proud to wear those things around their necks. I know I was!!

We ended with a big 'ol ward potluck including some delicious BBQ chicken! I hope that everyone walked or hobbled away with their heads held a little higher. In my eyes this was a huge success! I was glad that I decided to do it and that I was there to see my beautiful Young Women cross the finish line one by one. Hopefully they all can believe in themselves a little more now that they have accomplished something that most of them didn't think they could do.

Some have even asked if we are doing it again next year! That answer is YES!!

2011-08-16T18:04:00.000-07:00

A WEEKEND AWAY

It's kind of pathetic to say...but we haven't really done anything this summer. I mean, we have done little day trips to the lake and a friends pool here and there (weather permitting), but as a whole family...nada!!

BUT...We have had these rewards certificates from Doug's work for about a year. 2 nights at a Marriott...expiring on September 1st! Yikes...we had to use those babies fast. Couldn't waste free hotel stays! It was just gonna be Doug and I, but I went soft and decided we needed some quality 'family' time. I wanted to take the kids to the coast. Unfortunately all the coastal towns are lacking in Marriott accommodations. So we found one as close as we could get that would handle all 6 of us. Wound up in down town Portland.

(Man!! I LOVE THESE KIDS!!)

We had to make sure that wherever we were staying had a pool...of course. That was the first thing the kids wanted to do when we pulled in at 6 p.m. on Thursday evening. It was an outdoor pool and I was grateful that it had been a nice day. They had a blast! While we were there we met a nice little Italian family. Daniella and her 2 year old daughter Julia. They are moving here next month for the husbands job and were here finding a place to live. Daniella was so sweet and we communicated as best we could with her little English and my NO Italian! I totally understood what she was saying when I told her I was pregnant with my 5th child. No translation was needed for that!

The room we ended up with was more like an apartment. The upstairs loft was a huge bedroom and full bath, another huge bedroom downstairs with a full bath as well, and a full kitchen (regular sized oven, dishwasher, microwave and fridge). The kids thought it was amazing and said they could live there. The whole place was really more like an apartment complex, with different areas for dinning outside with nice grills and they even had a garden you could help tend to if you were staying a while.

We happily ate the free (very tasty) breakfast the next morning and then headed to OMSI (Oregon Museum of Science and Industry). We have never been before. The kids seemed to have a pretty fantastic time. Lots of different things for them to do and look at. Payton was in heaven when he found out that one of the exhibits was GAME ON...the history of the video game. They had every game imaginable that you could play. It seems like we can't get away from these electronic things, even on our get-a-ways!!

Testing jump roping skills.

And Doug...testing his push-up skills. Let's just say that he is far above average!!

Payton and Savannah (after standing in a ridiculous line) got to do this virtual game. They both thought it was awesome!

I was pretty beat after being there for 6 hours. We didn't even see everything. Maybe next time. We went back to the hotel and did some more swimming. The girls made yet another friend. This time a little 4 year old girl named Sarah from Japan. It was like she was famous or something. The rest of the time we were there the girls got all giddy every time they saw her and would hug her. It was really sweet to see how quickly kids can connect and bond to one another even if they don't speak the same language!

After dinner we took a little evening walk over to the Lloyd Center. Huge mall with an ice skating rink inside. We only splurged on some ice cream though, much to Savannah's disappointment. She wanted to skate so bad!

The next morning we packed up, filled up on another fabulously free breakfast, and headed out to the coast. It just so happened that it was Payton's 11th birthday. He thought that this weekend was a sweet way to celebrate! I thought so too!

We arrived in Cannon Beach around 1p.m. (because of a detour we had to take to a dirt bike store) and could barely maneuver through the streets! There were people everywhere. When we finally parked the kids forgot about their starving tummies that we heard about for a half an hour and just wanted to get to the beach. The weather wasn't terrible. About 68 degrees and mostly sunny. The water was incredibly cold though but it didn't stop the kids from getting in. They came out with bright red legs and arms...and loved every minute of it...until they couldn't stand it anymore!

Waiting for our food...

I was happy when the kids decided they were done. My pregnant belly needed some grub! After using the back of the car as a changing room we went down the block to a little crepe eatery. Lets just say, it was an experience. Although the different crepes were good...they were too much money and not enough substance.

On to Seaside. This place was even busier that Cannon Beach. We wanted to do something we hadn't done, so we rented this little street bicycle. It looked fun, but was was more work than we anticipated. It was basically just Doug and I pedalling all of us and this metal contraption for an hour around town. Our legs were mush afterwards.

We found out why it was so busy...a huge beach volleyball tournament was going on. It looked like a beach in California.

Totally wiped out...looks comfy!

Although it was getting pretty late in the day we ventured on. We tried to go to Fort Stevens but found all the cool museums and historical sites to be closed. So we continued to Astoria. It was their Regatta weekend. I wish I would have known that before. We would have just been there all day participating in the different festivities. Maybe next year. The Coast Guard boat was parked by the Maritime Museum (which, of course, was closed). The dock there was being taken over by people in cocktail dresses and tuxedos. They were attending the Mayors Ball on a cruise ship. Looked like so much fun.

We did find one thing that was still open this time of day. The Astoria Column. I have no idea how many stories this thing is but we guessed around 12 or 13. There is just one long spiral staircase to the top. Holy legs on fire batman!!! If our legs weren't dead from the bicycle built for six, they sure were now!! When we got to the top, Payton had turned around with fear and tears in his eyes. Him and heights apparently don't mix. I coaxed him back out for a few pictures, but he was terrified. Poor guy. And don't tell him I told you! ;)

View from the top.

From where we were in the tower we could see the Coast Guard helicopter showing off for the crowd. It was pretty cool.

Payton hid in the bushes after because he was feeling like a 'wuss.'

So I made everyone join him to lighten his spirits. I couldn't have him being sad like that on his birthday!

Along with a few paper airplanes that people had tossed down from the top of the column, we saw a deer...really close to us on the drive back down to town. He wasn't scared of us at all. Just kept eating away.

We got on the road again to come home. We surprised Payton with a dinner stop at one of his favorite places to eat...IZZY'S in Longview. We had one of the best waitresses we have ever had. Beatrice was her name and she was just lovely and super friendly and even gave us all a discount because it was Payton's birthday. It's all you can eat buffet, so you don't get to take anything home of course. But she loaded us with the cheese bread that was left over after our last minute request before the kitchen closed. I love good service!

We got home and carried very heavy, sleeping children inside. It was a busy, fun, fantastic weekend that the kids will probably talk about for a while. We didn't do anything too grand...but the little things count too and mean just as much because of the time spent together.

2011-08-08T14:14:00.000-07:00

*The Baby Bump Project*

I've never actually documented my growing baby belly. I never have had the desire. My thinking was, why on earth would I want to take pictures of my weight gain, gross swelling and chubby face? But, for some reason I feel compelled to do it this time around. I will probably regret it later but it seemed like a good idea this morning.

So I got my camera out and had my hubs take a few snapshots of the effects this kid is having on my figure! I am 14 weeks today and am already not fitting into my pants cause my hips are spreading and I have awesome love handles. (Note: That is why my hand is on my hip...it hides it a little). This is obviously the hardest part for me. Over the last several years I have literally worked my rear off to be in shape and healthier-ish. So this process is mentally difficult. My body just gains weight, and I hate it!! The least amount I've gained with pregnancy has been 45 lbs. The most being 75 lbs. I guess it's just in my blood. A part of me just wants to say 'forget it!' let it go and just eat whatever I want whenever I want. But the other part of me knows just how much harder that will be on me in the long run.

One positive effect though has been my growing bosoms. And yes, I just said bosoms. I forgot what it felt like to have full breasts. I will say that I do love it and will enjoy every minute of them (as will Doug), because I know they will disappear when I stop nursing and start working out crazy like again.

To be honest, it was a pretty easy first trimester. I haven't been terribly sick. A few days have been more rough than others, but I am functioning pretty well. The exhaustion and hunger has taken it's toll though. I do get pretty nauseated when I need to eat and am eating every couple of hours (hence the love handles) and I'm just always tired. Especially around 2 in the afternoon. My body just wants to lay down, wherever I may be at the time. I guess I can also mention how irritable I am too...although I won't tell you just how irrational I can be at times. Stupid hormones!

My sister-in-law that lives next door is also pregnant with her 10th. Yes, I said 10th. She's just about 4 weeks behind me. We have been working out together every morning (minus a few days for not feeling well and busy days) for the past 3 weeks. Neither one of us wants to but because we are expecting the other one...we do it. It has been great! I moan and grumble and don't really want to be out of bed but it's been good for both of us. I haven't been doing much running because of the silly shin splints. They actually act up during the exercising, but they are not too unbearable. I'm just grateful that I am feeling ok enough to do anything at this point.

I promise to not let this pregnancy over-run my blog posts. There are other things going on in my life! I'll just update the bump pictures and complain about how much weight I am gaining every once in a while.

T.T.F.N!!

2011-07-11T09:53:00.000-07:00

They call me 'Broken Turtle'

Seattle Half Marathon Experience...Finally!

Yep. That's me. Somewhere along this process we all (the group I've been training with) decided we needed nicknames that we would have embroidered on the sleeves of our matching running shirts. I knew what mine would be right away...'Turtle.' I felt it matched me perfectly being the absolute slowest one of the bunch. Well, when my shin splints hit, relapse happened and a few other bumps (including a baby bump) in the training road occurred, it seemed fitting to add the 'broken.' Don't think I will be known by this name from now on but I will be reminded of this whole experience every time I see that name on the bright, can't miss me, yellow shirt!

The crew all jammed together for an elevator pic at the expo.

(Ron, Jake, Cody, Brittany, Veronica, Me, Jill and Doug)

We took off Friday morning around 10 to make it to the running expo before the traffic hit Seattle from the Sounders and Mariners games that would be happening that evening. The 6 runners and our 2 cheerleaders piled in to 2 cars and weaved in and out of traffic until making a stop for lunch. Half at Arby's the other half at Round Table (no pizza, just massive salads). After more car dodging and almost causing Jake a few heart attacks, we made it to the rooftop parking of the Qwest Event Center and began our laps around the expo.

The main objective of course was to pick up our packets with our bib numbers, tracking tags and then our shirts. We all got separated and experienced different things in the large and spacious building.

Doug and I ran into the Dahlin's who had already made the rounds. They were smart and got there early before the crazy crowd.

I knew that one thing I really wanted to check out was any exhibit that had sports tape. We crossed by the Sports Authority section and noticed a line for this guy. We will call him Jim. Jim is a physical therapist who volunteers his time to come and do these things and help provide relief to the injured runner. I stood in line...but then got tired of waiting. We walked around a bit, ate just a few free samples of things, and came back around. The line was even longer. But, I was willing to wait. If this tape could provide even the smallest relief from the pain of my shin splints, it would be worth it. So, I sat on this table, told him my woes and he taped me right up with KT Tape. I couldn't tell any difference right away seeing as I wasn't in a whole lot of pain at the moment but I hopped off the table with my fingers crossed that when I started to run the next morning, it would magically take at least some of the pain away. I had high hopes, but was trying to stay realistic.

Cody bought these at the expo. I kept looking down at his feet and thinking he wasn't wearing any shoes. They are a little different, but he said they are really comfy.

We headed to check in at our hotel and settle in a bit before gorging ourselves on carbs for dinner. No body knew where they wanted to eat but it was finally decided that we would head to BJ's. Lots of variety on the menu. So, we went. And then we waited. And waited. And waited. Walked around the mall a bit. And then waited some more. Saw a guy puke right outside the restaurant. We were all getting a little queasy and were so thankful when someone finally came to clean it up. And then we waited some more. We were almost past the point of hungry when we made it to our table. But all was well when we scarfed down chicken fettuccine alfredo or a massive baked potato. We left bloated and happy.

Seeing as we needed to be at the race around 6:30 am, we all hit the sack with the nerves beginning to take over. At least for me anyway. Doug wasn't nervous at all. All I could think of was whether or not I would be able to actually finish.

Morning came quickly and before I knew it we were on our way. We all piled into our Suburban and tried to find the best way in. As much as the city and the police were trying to keep people from pulling off on the freeway and dropping passengers, they had no chance of stopping the hundreds of people (including us) that were doing it. That was just the easiest way. We walked a ways before reaching the starting line. Everyone but me was in corral 8. I was clear back in 30. The corral you are in is based on your estimated finish time. Hence...the 'turtle' nickname.

We were all visiting and stretching in corral 8 and then I had to book it to the very long port-a-potty line. Unfortunately, I was still there when the starting gun fired. And I stayed there for a while. The corrals would go every minute and a half or so and I counted while I waited my turn in the potty. When it got to number 8, I whispered a "good luck my friends" to everyone and an "I love you babe, you got this" to my man. So bummed I didn't get to actually tell them those things and hug them all in person. Dang bladder.

I had plenty of time to get back to my number 30 position but opted to jump into 27 instead and did some more stretching. We eked our way forward as my goose bumps formed goose bumps from the nerves and the cold. My mind was so full of doubt at this point I couldn't even really think too clearly. I was a little worried about how hungry I would get during this whole thing. I found out I was with child (6 weeks along) a week and a half before the race. Hadn't been experiencing any morning sickness, just HUNGER. When my body needed food, it needed food. During one of my cycling days after only 12 miles on the bike I needed food right then. Had to stop and fill my belly. So, race morning, I made sure I packed some snacks in my little running pack and prayed they would suffice for the 13.1 miles.

As my group got closer, my bladder got fuller. Dang it!! I was one corral behind the starting line and made a b-line for a couple of port-a-potties. Low and behold, they were empty...Hallelujah!! As I ran over there, my shins screamed at me. My heart sank and a little bit of my hope escaped. I finished up, ran back to my starting spot and my shins screamed again. I will admit, I got a little teary-eyed. But

I was committed. No turning back now. It was finally our turn and we were off.

I obviously knew the pain in my shins was gonna happen now, and it did, immediately. But oddly enough, it wasn't unbearable. I felt it mostly in my left leg. But by some sweet grace the pain decreased and then faded completely. I wasn't even to the 2 mile marker and felt not a twinge of what I had been experiencing the past 5 weeks. I was elated. I was running with no pain and I just couldn't believe it. Was it the KT Tape? Was it the crazy praying I had done? I believe it was both. I actually felt pretty good and started to really think I was gonna finish and finish faster than last time. What could stop me now? Oh yeah, I hadn't actually trained to run 13.1 miles. I only had reached 8. That could put a damper on things. But, no matter...I kept running. I was really concentrating, but also took the time to high 5 most of the cheer leading squads that were yelling out for everyone. Read some pretty funny signs and noticed every person that passed me. As with all my runs before, there came the 'auto pilot' point. Unfortunately, it didn't last very long. I think around mile 7, I was feeling a bit tired, but still doing OK. I made sure I hydrated at every water station and listened to my body very closely. I kept waiting for my bladder to over fill again, but it didn't. I apparently was using every thing I had and was putting into my system. Another, Hallelujah! I hate stopping to pee during a race.

The praises ceased though around mile 8. I had felt a little hint of something in my left hip. But tried to not think about it. Well, it got to the point where I couldn't help BUT think about it. It was bad. Apparently my right hip was feeling left out, so it joined in as well. Oh, and then my right knee, my toes and my back. I hurt everywhere...BUT my shins. I think my back was hurting because of the way I was running. I was compensating for the insane amount of pain from my left hip. Mile 9 was a crazy hill and a continuous incline through the Alaskan Way Viaduct. I dig running through this tunnel and turned my music off just like last time to listen to the wave of yelling that happens.

I was a little distracted by my pain so it wasn't nearly as enjoyable as last time.

The miles seemed to be coming even slower and I just wanted to be done. I teared up a few more times but kept telling myself, "You are almost done! You got this!" I was pretty amazed that I was still moving. The pain was almost debilitating. My toes felt like they were bleeding and a few of them were numb. I kept thinking I would be pulling off bloody socks when I was done. I was feeling pretty broken at this point. But my shins were doing awesome!!

Mile 11. I was on a bit of a straight away coming into down town when I heard my name being called. I turned to the left and saw my friends and my hubby. They had been finished for quite some time and came to cheer me on. I loved seeing them there and hearing my name. Unfortunately, I couldn't really express that. I was hurting so much and so very tired that I barely mustered a smile at them. But my heart was leaping. It really was. And again, the tears showed up.

The last 2 miles took forever. I had been keeping track of my time on my handy dandy watch but didn't know exactly because I had forgotten to start it at the start. I tried hard to push to get a better time but as I slowly watched that chance decreasing, I got a little discouraged. But, I kept reminding myself of how much better I was doing than anyone thought I would and tried to be happy about that.

At last I saw the finish line. I started to shake with emotion and I'm sure some spectator saw the emotions on my face. I was almost done. Somehow, someway I had a little juice left in me and squeezed hard to 'sprint' to the finish. My friends were there...didn't hear them...but they were there yelling and cheering. My husband was going crazy I guess. I wish so very much that I would have heard them. It would have made a difference because I thought they weren't there. Makes me a bit sad. I should have heard them. I inched closer and closer, and finally I was finished. I was so very glad to just be done, to not have to run any further. But as soon as I stopped running and stood still for the slightest of seconds, my pain sky rocketed and I was barely able to walk. I wasn't soaking in the feeling of accomplishment at this moment, I couldn't. My mind was fuzzy. I got my medal and stood in line for my finishers photo. I don't even remember if I smiled. I saw my honey and just wanted to get to him. I had been thinking about him the entire time and hoped so much that it had gone well for him. I crossed over the barrier and went straight for his arms. We both cried a little and he told me how proud he was of me.

I asked how it had gone for him...and he didn't want to talk about it. It didn't go as well as he had hoped. It was a difficult run for him and he was extremely frustrated because he knew he could have done better. He had hurt his knee a week before the race and I prayed that it wouldn't bother him...and it didn't. It's just that other things did. But, I believe he did amazing. I am insanly proud of him. The progress that he made during his training was remarkable. He was running my pace and increased his speed so much that he was able aim for a sub 2 (under 2 hours) finish. He missed it by 12 minutes. So, he will tie on his running shoes again and shoot for what he believes he can do. I know he can do it.

Ron and Cody came in pretty close to each other. I can't remember their official time but it was something like 1:47 and 1:48. Crazy fast in my eyes.

Jake and Brit came in even faster than that. All four of them were pretty happy with the way it went and their finishing times.

I'm sure that everyone was sick of waiting around for me and ready to leave...but I made them wait even longer. I needed to just take a few minutes. No one complained because I think they all felt sorry for me and they were used to waiting. They had been waiting for me from the very beginning of this journey.

I wasn't exactly sure what my time was. I had forgotten to start my watch at the very beginning so it was a few minutes faster than what it should have been. I stopped it as I crossed the finish line at 2:28...my last half marathon time.

What would we do without our cheerleaders? Thank you Veronica and Jill!! Sure love you two ladies!

The Crew with our nicknamed embroidered shirts

Brittany (Firecracker), Jake (Crash), Me (Broken Turtle), Doug (Tail Gunner), Veronica (not sure if I should share her nickname at this point in time), Ron (Sarge), Jill (Biker Boss) and Cody (Pacer)

Since we didn't get a group shot before or at the start I was adamant on getting one at the end.

There we all stood. Finished with what we had all worked so hard to accomplish. Done with 13.1 miles. Some happy, some with a sense of disappointment. Some feeling like they could have kept going, some feeling like they had absolutely nothing left to give. But, all of us had our finishers medals. All of us, in our own way, champions.

Congratulations, my friends!

I am so glad that I shared this experience with my best friend. You really can't grasp what it is like until you do it yourself. He got to feel it this time. We really helped each other along. He was why I kept going. This was nothing close to easy for me and from the very beginning I wanted to quit. But Doug would just keep talking me through my doubts and tears. He kept encouraging me to keep going and just do the best I could. I really truly could not have done this without him. I am so thankful that he and a few other people believed in me way more than I believed in myself.

Because I had made everyone wait, we were able to get free sandwiches from Jimmy Johns. Just like last time. So very good. We started back towards the car and I was really wishing for a wheelchair. My body was done. It took us a bit but we finally got back to the car. Everyone was in a hurry to get a shower before we had to check out from our hotel rooms. 6 people and only 2 showers made the process a little slow and of course I was the one to make everyone wait. I should have showered first seeing as I take the longest. But it gave everyone a chance to rest and some even napped a bit. See, how thoughtful of me.

We set off for home with our hunger pains increasing. We stopped in at Famous Dave's BBQ. We just visited and discussed the days events, shared our experiences and stuffed our faces. Good times.

We got back in our vehicles and hunkered down for the ride home. Thankfully, Jill didn't mind that I needed to stretch my legs out across her lap the whole way home. I iced my hip and knee with something from her cooler.

We saw this on the freeway, and I thought it was funny and it made us all smile. The dog looked totally happy.

It took a few days, but I was finally able to walk a little more normally. The sore muscles faded but the experience is still very fresh in my mind. When I looked up my official time it was 2:30:42. Just 2 minutes over my last half. There is a part of me that is surprised and proud that I did so much better than expected. But then there is that part of me that's "REALLY??? 2 MINUTES!! Couldn't I have just pushed a little harder at some point during it all and made up that 2 minutes?" But, I will take it.

Because after all, I did indeed cross the finish line on my own two legs.

And that is something for me to be proud of.

2011-07-05T21:04:00.001-07:00

2011-06-20T16:51:00.000-07:00

READY or NOT...

The final countdown has begun. Only 5 days remain until I'm standing with 25,000 people awaiting the sound of the starting gun. It makes me think back to 2 years ago when I was in that position. I remember the adrenaline pumping through every vain in my body and the sweat in my palms. But looking back, I was ready. I had trained hard and put in my time. I was there to fulfil a goal I had set for myself. I knew I had it in me. Even though at the time, I may not have felt it.

Unfortunately...this time is different.

To say that I am nervous would be a gross understatement. When I think about Saturday I almost get sick to my stomach. I AM NOT READY. As difficult as it seemed last time around...it doesn't even compare to now. I jumped into this wanting to have amazing results. And it just hasn't happened. When I started running again after the accident, it was difficult. My body literally had done nothing for almost 4 months. The muscles in my legs and arms were weak and I was frail. But, I signed up knowing that it would just come back to me. I could start running again and build those muscles back up. That did happen, slowly but surely. As discouraging as it was to run with the people I was training with, I kept going. Always the slowest, always running less miles. I kept going. Eventually there came a point where I started to feel a little better, a little more confident. Maybe I got a little ahead of myself, maybe I tried to push it too hard, maybe I just wasn't ready to take on a task such as this. But I wanted to prove to myself that I could come back from my accident and accomplish this. And now...I'm just scared.

My shin splints are not healed. And, unfortunately I had a little set back in my healing process which caused my severe dizzies and nausea to return for several days. The nausea from that has faded, but the intensity of my dizzy spells hasn't calmed down to where they were before.

I have ran only two times in the last 4 weeks. I have tried to keep my cardio and endurance up with biking...but running is just different. The farthest I had ran before my shins decided to get all stupid on me was 8 miles. 5 less than what the race is. This is not what I had planned.

But still, I am holding out a tiny bit of...

Hope...that my legs will just keep moving even if they are only crawling. Hope...that I can talk myself through the pain and negative thoughts that will be swimming in my head. Hope...that I will just be OK. Hope...that no matter what it takes, I will cross that finish line.

It is absolutely not what I had planned...but it is what it is and I can't change it. So, I am gonna put on my running gear, tape up my shins, pin on my bib and finish this journey. I know that the only person I will be racing against is myself. That may be the biggest challenge of all.

Unfortunately, I will probably not finish faster than the last time like I wanted to. But, I will finish. I will finish. I. WILL. FINISH.

The best part about being the last of all the people I know that are running to cross the finish line is knowing that they will all be there at the end to cheer me on, to hug me and tell me how proud they are of me. That right there will be worth the pain.

2011-06-20T15:15:00.000-07:00

Gold 'N Joy

I made my husband accompany me to a little concert in Olympia last week. Marvin Goldstein and Vanessa Joy. Vanessa was an Olympia resident until moving to Arizona. While there, she was discovered by Marvin Goldstein and he snatched her up and has taken her around the world. How sweet that would be.

They entertained us with humor, show tunes and costume changes. We were totally blown away with the way Marvin's fingers danced across the piano keys. Vanessa's voice was very powerful and clear. My favorite song that she sang that night was "Rain On My Parade." It struck a cord with me and she delivered it with a lot of passion.

Part of the show was a group of local kids doing some songs from different musicals they had performed. My niece, Haley was part of the group. It was fun to see her up on stage. She couldn't stop smiling. I think she really enjoyed herself.

After the intermission, we changed seats and got a good view of the hand work. We could have listened to him play all night. He did medley's of "Fiddler on the Roof," "Man From Snowy River," "Phantom of the Opera," and a "Star Spangled Banner" kind of medley (along with others). His humor really made the show though. It was subtle, not over done and just made me giggle.

We had the opportunity to meet and talk with Marvin afterwards. Vanessa was a little bombarded with long time friends, so we didn't have the chance to meet her. The upper picture, he is actually standing on his tip-toes. He almost stood on the bench behind us so he wouldn't look shorter than me.

I really love being able to go to things like this. To hear people's stories and understand a little more of who they are when I listen to their music. It was a lovely evening that ended with eating way too much food at Applebee's.

2011-06-09T17:45:00.000-07:00

Welcome to CAMPFIRE CORNER!

I decided it was time to have an official fire pit to gather, roast marshmallows and sing Kumbiya around. Although it's not an actual 'pit', it does the job. Doug and my father-in-law love when I have ideas like this because it means they get to participate. They almost jumped for joy when I told them what I wanted.

It worked out perfectly, in my opinion. We already had the rocks, provided by our lovely back yard Newakum river. My father-in-law had picked up the boards a few years ago from a lumber mill in hopes of building benches and a table. And the stumps were from a couple of dead trees we had cut down. All we needed was some muscle, (which I willingly provided) and some really really big screws.

And...VOILA!! Campfire Corner!

Projects always take longer than anticipated and it's not completely finished yet. We still need to sink the stumps into the ground so they don't tip over. The benches are quite heavy.

We had our inaugural roast on Saturday night. The day had been beautiful and although it wasn't too chilly or terribly dark when we started...we ended that way. We tried a different variety of s'mores. Reese's peanut butter cups instead of Hershey's chocolate. I enjoyed them immensely.

I am looking forward to spending late summer nights out here. I think it will be a fabulous place where memories will be made with people we care about. Makes me smile just thinking about it.

2011-06-08T14:20:00.000-07:00

HIGH 5!!

Miss Jillian finally turned 5. She went to the dentist a few days before her birthday and they asked her how old she was. She answered with a very confident "I'm 4 and 8 quarters!" And no one could tell her any different.

Her birthday landed on Memorial Day this year and was a bash full of lots of family and a big 'ol BBQ! Thankfully the weather held out and was a pretty decent day for running all over the property and getting dirty. Which, Jillian does extremely well.

I think by the stories I have shared about this little one, you have a good idea of who she is. I am constantly blown away by her whit and sass. She is so theatrical and wouldn't surprise me at all if she tries out for plays and things when she's older. A part of me wants to take her to auditions for commercials or something. She has the personality of 4 people sometimes. And I love everyone of them.

If there is any sort of reflecting surface...she is staring at herself, talking, acting, and posing. Her favorite is the mixing bowl of my Kitchen Aid. Man, what am I in for with her??

She wanted a fruit roll up cake at first. But then she said she wanted a volcano cake. I went with the easier of the two and ended up with this thing. I'm not really sure what to call it. But Jillian was very disappointed about it not erupting. Just couldn't pull it off. It was a pretty enormous cake with 3 full layers and cream cheese pudding in between them. Besides one of the cakes have a little extra oil in the mix, this monster tasted pretty good. So...looks can be deceiving.

She is way excited to go to kindergarten next year and is very proud that she is 'older.' I am enjoying watching her grow and change. There is so much of how she is right now that I hope she keeps as the years pass. I think she is pretty dang beautiful and I am so thankful that she is happy and healthy! In one of the very first blog posts I did, I talked about her. I described how she is the spark of the family...but hoped she wasn't the kind of spark that would set the house on fire. So far...so good!!

2011-05-31T09:29:00.000-07:00

So...I made music. Like I said I wanted to. It's simple and short, but I created it and

am therefore a tiny bit proud of myself (along with being super self-conscious about it).

I will never be a Mindy Gledhill. But, I will always be a Clarissa Gifford. I've been in a

funk the last several days, you know, just feeling un-fabulous because I compare myself

to others way too much. So, I am posting this to make me feel better about me and

remind myself that I am OK just the way I am.

2011-05-27T21:51:00.000-07:00

Flashback

I was able to attend a high school choir concert of two of my Young Women Tuesday night. As I stepped into the gymnasium and listened to them perform, I was transported back to my high school choir days. It made me a bit nostalgic as those kinds of things always do. It was a really entertaining and touching concert. I enjoyed every note.
I have been to several high school concerts since my march down the graduation aisle, but for some reason this one sent me down a different road.

Pulling out of the parking lot, I had this strange desire to go watch some old videos from 1998 of random-ness and a few performances I had done my Senior year. My mind was swirling with memories of being on stage, making sweet harmonies and singing every single day. But when I popped those VHS videos in, I knew immediately, I should have ignored the desire. It was excruciating. The choir concert was laughably off-key and the whole thing was painfully embarrassing. And it was only Doug and me that were watching.
As I watched I cringed every time I spoke, every time I sang. I laughed at my clothes, my hair, my teeth, my behavior and my all around dorkyness. It was awful...but of course I kept watching. I do realize that most people feel that way about themselves when forced to endure old home movies.   But when it's you, you think that you might just take home the prize for being the biggest loser.

There was footage of a few of my best girlfriends from school, my siblings, my mom and my (at the time) 3 year old niece (who just turned 17)!! We were all white and nerdy. Well, my family anyway...my friends would be Hispanic and nerdy.

It's amazing the amount of changes that have occurred over the last 13 years. We all looked so silly and young. I'm sure in those moments where we thought we said something funny or did something interesting we weren't thinking about how ridiculous we would seem watching it several years later.

The conclusion that I came to was...I am grateful for the changes.   The changes in everyone...but mostly in myself. I have caught myself having those "if I could do it all over again" moments and wanting to go back to a simpler, less responsibility time of life. And of course, I long for my pre-baby body. But upon watching the tapes roll, I don't think I'll worry about that kind of stuff again. Not that it was all consuming or anything...just fleeting moments.

I did notice some things about myself that are very much the same. I'm still insecure. I don't know how many times I asked the people around me if they liked my hair after I cut about 7 inches off. Sounds familiar.  And I still chew the insides of my cheeks. I guess there are a few things that I still need to work on.  Oh yeah...and I am still a great big dork too! THAT may never change.

Although I would prefer the aging clock to slow down a little, and for some perkiness to return to certain areas...at least, for today, I am grateful for growing-up, maturing and braces. I am also grateful for different trends in clothes and make-up.

We'll see how I feel about those things 13 years from now.

2011-05-22T00:06:00.000-07:00

BENCHED!!

Shin splints. 2 evil words full of mean-ness and no sense of pity whatsoever. For those who have had them, there is no explanation needed. But, for those who haven't, there is one word that I can use to explain...P.A.I.N.

Shin splints are when the muscle on your shins starts to separate from the bone. There are several causes...dehydration, not enough stretching, over training, bad shoes, repeated runs on hard surfaces, lack of leg strength. And the list goes on. Now, I'm not positive what is causing mine. All I know is that I have them, I hate them and they are putting a kink in my training. I tried to run through the pain on my Wednesday run, and it was almost impossible. Actually, the only reason I kept running was because it hurt worse to walk. I cried the whole time. So much fun.

I drove my aching, (engulfed in flames) legs to South Sound Running to tackle what may be one of the problems...my shoes. The people there were super fantastic! They watched me run in about 6 different pairs of shoes, gave me great pointers and even gave me some medicine because I was about to chop my legs off from the pain. I hope with all hopeness that this will help!

The new digs. They are BROOKS - Adrenaline GTS 11. And this is what it says on the inside of the blue and brown box they came in. "EVERY RUNNER HAS A DREAM. A DREAM OF THE IDEAL RUN. OUR JOB IS TO MAKE IT COME TRUE. This isn't just a pair of the world's finest running shoes. It's our passion. What you see here is the result of paradigm-shifting technologies that have been tested and re-tested (again and again). Years of research on fit, ride, comfort and biomechanics, and an almost frightening obsession with every last detail. Brook's mission is to deliver the perfect ride for every stride. Tucked with care in this box is your Run Happy revelation. Go set it free."

Oh, man...do I want to set it free...

I WANT TO RUN HAPPY!!

But, for now...I'm benched. Sad. The best thing to do is give my silly shins time to heal, as much as possible. I don't know how long it will be till I can run. And the fact that the R and R Seattle is in 5 weeks, has me a tad concerned. Yikes...sniff..sniff...!

So, in the meantime, I'm building a stronger relationship with my padded bicycle shorts.

2011-05-08T23:05:00.000-07:00

stories to read. mouths to feed. wiping tears. calming fears. sleepless nights. breaking up fights. washing clothes. tickling toes. singing songs. righting wrongs. piggy-back rides. waiting at slides. pulling out hair. teaching to share. owies to kiss. giggling bliss. crying and whining. cereal dinning. beds to make. birthday cake. bath time fun. errands to run. socks to match. playing catch. teeth to brush. mornings to rush. prayers to say. picture day. dress-up dresses. cleaning up messes. lego's and babies. yes, no's and maybes. walks in the park. afraid of the dark. dentists and docs. child-proof locks. birds and the bees. skinned-up knees. wiping noses. dandelion's not roses. games to attend. heartbreaks to mend. snuggles in bed. apologies said. time-out chair. bubble gum hair. beaming with pride. i count, you hide. bad tummy-ache. deep breaths to take.

i love being a mother.

2011-05-05T17:41:00.000-07:00

* Savannah's Weekend*

FRIDAY NIGHT

How spoiled is this girl? She got to have two occasions of celebratory bliss!! She actually never had just a 'friends' party, so I thought it would be a nice little treat to do for her special 8th birthday! She invited a few friends from church and a friend from school. Of course, the little sisters wouldn't allow themselves to be excluded.

For dinner, daddy made his most excellent homemade pizza!! It was a big hit!!

Hunter...the lone boy of the group!

Chelsea, Caylee, Sam, Savannah, Jenna, Kaitlyn and Hunter!

The Cake!

I know it's hard to believe, but I made it!! I have come to the conclusion that I can't decorate with icing stuff...so I'll just decorate with accessories! Ribbons and silk flowers are my friend!

Savannah and her friends had an excellent time playing, eating cake, opening presents, being goofy and just spending time together.

EASTER SUNDAY MORNING

We had originally planned Vann's baptism for the 16th, but due to a few family conflicts we moved it to the 24th. Which just so happened to be Easter Sunday. The coincidence with that...she was also blessed on Easter Sunday.

Turning 8 has been something Savannah had been excited about for a few years now. For one, it meant getting her ears pierced. She was full of smiles heading into Clair's for the big moment. Then, she had a melt down and almost jumped out of her chair from the fear. After a moment, she calmed down, and it was done.

But...being baptized was what she was THRILLED to do. No fear involving this one. She beamed with pride in her dress and curls and counted down the hours.

Sisters.

So, I feel like a terrible mom for not getting a pic with Payton. He was still in his pj's when I was taking these, so he missed out. But he mentioned to me that it really didn't bother him.

The main event.

Daddy was so excited to be baptizing his little girl.

Savannah picked who she wanted to be on the program. Grandma Gifford and Grandma Iris gave the prayers, Jill (another 'grandma') gave a talk, and the surprise...Payton volunteered to also give one. The messages shared were so great. But I will say, that when my 10 year old got up to give his talk on the Holy Ghost, I was speechless. I honestly don't think I have ever been more proud of my boy. He did such an amazing and impressive job. And...he didn't even read it. He just had some scripture references and key words written down! He did have a bit of an adrenaline overload when he was done, and broke down in tears. But...he comes by that honestly!

When the moment arrived it was sweet. Savannah Marie came out of the water beaming and so was I. The water washed away the bad stuff and the curls, but what emerged from that water was my baby girl, clean and pure. I will keep this in my heart and remember what she looked like and how we both felt when I wrapped the towel around her and told her how much I loved her and how she looked up at me and said, with her biggest smile, "Mom, I just feel so happy!"

2011-05-01T22:55:00.000-07:00

IT'S JUST HAIR...sniff sniff

I will confess to watching my fare share of talk shows in my lifetime. Yeah, even those terrible "who's the daddy?" ones. The episodes, on whatever talk show it may be, that are my favorite, are the make-overs. They bring out these people who, in their eyes, need to revamp their outer layer. You usually have your biker dude/dudette. Then there is the typical 30 something mother of 3 who has just put her kids first and forgotten about herself to the point of wearing the same kind of mom jeans for the last 13 years. Then, of course there is always the lady who has hair to her rear or beyond that cries at the very suggestion of cutting off her lovely locks. Now, I have never understood this. They usually end up looking fantastic. I wonder what they are so worried about because they usually look so much better and I have laughed at the fact that they cry about...HAIR!!

Well...who's crying now?

ME!

Yep...I cut it. About 10 inches, and I'm a little devastated. Saying that makes me feel a little ridiculous. I have the most intense regret just sitting on my chest right now. My hair had become somewhat of who I am. Don't laugh. And it feels like I have cut off a part of myself...lost a little bit of my identity. My friend told me the other day that I am more than my beautiful hair. I know I am. But, having it gone has made me realize just how much I loved it. Everyone I've talked to has loved my new 'do' and says it looks 'cute!' I'm so grateful for their positive strokes to my damaged ego... I'm just a little sad about it, and spent several days blubbering about it. LAME!! Why did I cut so much off? I needed it cut, and wanted it cut. But, it's shorter than it should be and there are way too many layers. I hate hating my hair. I hate not knowing how to work with it completely, molding it to look the way I want it. It's my own dang fault, and I was warned by my husband and hair stylist. In fact, my hair stylist refused to do it at first...while her husband threw in his objections as well. I should have listened. DORK!
SO...what can I do about it? Not much really...but wait for it to grow back. I actually picked up some pre-natal vitamins to help the process a little bit.
Savannah came into my bedroom the other day and noticed I was a little teary-eyed. OK, Fine! I was bawling! Anyway, she asked what was wrong and I told her I was just a little sad about my hair. She replied "Mom, it looks so pretty. And you could always buy a wig." I will not say that I have ruled that out as an option!

2011-04-15T10:27:00.000-07:00

EIGHT!

I know that it will continue to baffle me how quickly my kids are growing. Savannah banana is at the age of accountability and I just can't believe it!!

Just last week we had parent/teacher conferences and it was great. Her teacher, Ms. Lilloren, absolutely adores her and wishes she could have 10 more of her in the class. Savannah is the most tender-hearted, helpful, sweetest thing with a touch of sass and prissyness. She doesn't mind gettin' dirty and prides herself in having more tom-boy in her than 'girlyness.' I think she is perfectly balanced between the two.

Savannah Marie is getting baptized on Easter Sunday, April 24th at 4:30 P.M. (right after church). Anyone is welcome to join us on this special day.

We are very blessed to have this little lady in our family. We love her deeply! As my friend said the other day, she really does light up the room when she enters. It's incredible to see her grow...even though it's painful to see the "little girl" slowly slipping away.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SWEET SAVANNAH!!

2011-04-07T00:15:00.000-07:00

E.M.P.

(Experience Mindy Project)

I hope that because it has taken me a week to post about this that it doesn't cast a shadow on how amazing it was. I just got busy. That is all.

That day proved to be a hectic one with last minute details and making sure everyone had a ride to my house. I wasn't just taking my family...I was bringing along 16 other people!! 10 of my Young Women and 6 others (friends, parents, grandparents) were able to come. Some of which had never heard Mindy's music but, it was a concert...so of course they wanted to come. They just crossed their fingers it wouldn't be to intolerable. We set off around 5 pm to make sure we made the 45 minute drive with time to get a good place in line. Fortunately...I had an 'in' with the guy running the show, so he assured me good seats...OK...VIP seats! And he did not disappoint. We rolled in being the very first people there. The venue was the South Bay Grange Hall. It's an old falling apart kind of place with some sweet character. It was perfect!

The ladies...showing their enthusiasm???

The friends, parents and grandparents.

My girls, upon seeing some of the YW with their wings on, insisted they bring theirs. It was their ode to the Anchor video!

The stage.

My friend Rachel was there with her momma and had to get a pic with the little fairies.

Ring master...Daren Falter. The guy responsible for my whole Mindy craze!

And the one that talked her into stopping in Olympia!

The opening act was Debra Fotheringham. She was magnificent on her guitar and had an enchanting voice. It was a bit difficult to hear her at times...but I was in awe. Found out later that she is a self taught guitarist. Made my ache for learning to play deepen!!

And then...MINDY! Should I feel silly to admit that I teared up a little when she got on stage? She had me and the entire audience eating out of the palm of her hand as soon as she sang the first note. Oh, to have that much influence over the emotions and thoughts of a crowd.

She opened with a Carpenters song "Close to You." Which I totally dug. Growing up in the Henry family...you got to know the Carpenters songs. I'm thinking her version has my vote! When she talked she just seemed so...normal and down to earth. Her personality drew me in even more and I could have sat listening to her for hours. It was lovely to hear the stories behind her songs and understand where they came from. It's funny how you apply the songs you hear to your own life, but when you hear why they were created in the first place it gives you a deeper appreciation for the song itself and for the creator. And it gives you a glimpse into their life, which I like...in a non-stalker-ish kind of way.

Her guitarist. Ryan...I can't remember his last name and I feel terrible about that. He was incredible. At one point a guy in the crowd yelled out "Play a hymn!" Mindy graciously gave him the stage while he took only a few minutes to share his magic with us. He apparently has a cd...'guitar hymns.' Me thinks me gonna buy it!!

I will whole heatedly admit that I cried when she sang Anchor. Did you expect me not to...really? I think that it's just always gonna be this way with her music. It will forever be linked to a very tender time in my life. And I'm just gonna cry about it every once in a while. OK??!!

There was quite a bit of audience participation. I sang along with all the songs...but very quietly...I think. She sounded so perfect. Not one bad note...not one missing lyric...her voice pure and rich. So. Amazing. I didn't want it to end. Her final song was "I Do Adore!" Which my girls love. She called up all the little kids to come help sing and clap along with this adorable little ditty of a song. My girls were more than happy to do so. And it was just so much fun to see them dancing and singing along right at Mindy's feet!

Savannah at one point hadn't heard her favorite song (Whole Wide World) or Anchor yet and she was getting a little worried that she wasn't going to sing them. I assured her she would. I loved seeing her face light up when she did! A lady came up to me after the concert and said that her favorite part of the night was watching my girls sing along with all of Mindy's songs! What can I say...I have brainwashed them!!

Payton, Doug, Me and Heidi...enjoying the show!!

So...funny story. This isn't when I actually met miss Mindy. Right after the show, Jillian decided that she had to go to the bathroom..."REALLY BAD!" I tried to maneuver my way through the crowd which had congregated right outside the entry door to meet and greet the artists. I finally made my way through and bam! there she was. Daren was there to introduce me with, "Mindy, I'd like you to meet one of your super fans. This is Clarissa Gifford." I was holding on to a little person whose bladder was not going to hold much longer. I had to answer with..."Oh my goodness...I really want to talk with you, but my daughter has to go potty and is about to explode!" Great timing right? Daren totally thought I was fighting my way through the crowd to meet her but I was just fighting to get to the john!!! When I finally got around to properly meeting her I was a big. ol. dork. I tried really hard to control my emotions...but it didn't work. She knew who I was because of a few messages we had exchanged and from reading my blog...(yep, she's read my blog). We talked for just a bit and I sobbed on her shoulder and probably mumbled really stupid things that thankfully I can't remember. But she was very sweet and patient and kind and I love her even more now.

Of course we had to get one with the entire family!

And one with the wings...which she loved, (and autographed) I might add!

Savannah wanted to meet and get a picture with Debra.

Heidi and Mindy.

Debra and me. She told me..."You can do it!" When we talked about her being self taught on the guitar. Oh, one day!!

The Falter family with the spectacular musicians. So grateful to them for making this possible. Took a lot of planning and time...and we appreciated it so very much!!

I think that this will be etched in my mind for...well, forever, really. I love that I got to have this experience. To see, hear and meet someone that has made a mark on my life was beautiful. However silly that may sound...it's true. I wonder how she feels knowing the effect that she has had on peoples lives. She must go to sleep with a smile on her face everyday. She left Olympia with several more fans!! My people loved her! The whole experience was quite inspiring and makes me want to go make music...somehow...somewhere. I sang Anchor at our ward talent show on Friday and I start actual guitar lessons on Monday. Maybe someday Mindy and I can make music together. Wait...now that did sound stalker-ish!

I read the blog of a lady who actually hosted a Mindy concert in her home. I got a little jealous. I could do that! I see that happening here in my home and me and Mindy becoming life long friends. OK, I'm starting to scare myself with my "trying not to sound stalker-ish comments that actually do sound stalker-ish!" But...still...wouldn't that be so fantastically fantastic?!?!

THANK YOU MINDY GLEDHILL for sharing your awesomeness with me...I mean, us!!

2011-03-28T09:52:00.000-07:00

.....MINDY TIME.....

(like HAMMER TIME...but much cooler, and with ferry wings instead of parachute pants)

It's hard to not talk about something when you love it so much!! Just 2 days till Mindy Gledhill's Olympia debut and I'm feeling like a giddy teenager. I will probably be spending quite some time trying to decide what to wear. Going for a look that won't scream "CRAZY MINDY FAN!" I do want to come across somewhat normal...even though my insides will be trying to catch all those butterflies and sillies that will be floating around and causing me to squirm and I'll probably be crying the whole dang time!! There's a part of me that feels a little dorky for being this elated, but then I think...WHO CARES?! I'm excited about this entire experience and about sharing it with so many people that I love. 23 of them to be exact!!

If you haven't got your tickets yet, I think you may still be able to get them. If not, she will be in Portland tomorrow night and Seattle on the 31st. Go check out her website for more details. mindygledhill.com. Oh, and go watch her new WHOLE WIDE WORLD (Savannah's favorite song) video on youtube!

So prepare yourselves, because come Thursday you will all be inundated with precise details and a massive amount of pictures of my 'mindy experience'!!

2011-03-09T15:53:00.000-08:00

THE SELF DOUBT MONSTER

I know we have all met him. He's not the kind of monster that hides under your bed or in your closet. He follows very stealthily behind you and waits for those moments when you feel the least bit confident. He has been my shadow this past week. And he made his presence very well known yesterday.

I started running again last week. I was dreading starting up for fear of the tantrum my body would throw and the fact that my head might spin enough to send me into unconscious mode. Unconsciousness avoided...but TANTRUM thrown! I know that not running or doing anything physically challenging for almost 4 months would obviously do something to my fitness level. But HOLY HEAVY LEGS BATMAN!! It was hard to pick those suckers off the pavement...stride after stride. I made it 2 miles and some change. Better than my very first attempt last time I started training for a half marathon. So, I am already ahead of my previous game. But just like before, I am questioning my decision to do this. I signed up to do the Rock and Roll Seattle Half Marathon again and I'm feeling a bit crazy. I felt great about wanting to do it...until I started running again. My husband signed up too and is doing fantastic. We have gone on a few runs together. I use the term "together" very loosely. I am running so slow right now that he and the others we have been running with leave me in their dust. Which, in all actuality is very disheartening for me. I wish that it didn't bother me, but it does. So, I am left with my 'self doubt monster' as my training partner. He is not encouraging at all. He feels my head with questions like, "Why are you doing this again?" "Do you really think you can do this?" "You are a joke. Look at how slow you are going. You can barely make it 2 miles, do you really think that 13.1 is possible?" What a meany-head. He is very persuasive and makes some excellent points. But I will say that I continue to run even through all that. He is strong...but I am stronger???

On to yesterdays 'monster' encounter. I wrote something for a friend a few weeks ago which turned out pretty dang cute if I do say so myself. Well, upon sharing it with another friend she gave me the idea of trying to get it published. Just the thought of the possibility feels me with giddiness and excitement. The more we talked about it the more I was gung ho about going for it. But then...dun, dun, dun...the monster came. "Why on earth would you think someone would want to publish this?" "You are going to get rejected over and over, so why bother?" "You have got to be kidding yourself that anyone would be interested in buying this!" See...meany-head! I do argue with him. I say "What if they do like it? What if it does get published and people like it and want to buy it? This could actually happen!" "And even if it doesn't, oh well, at least I gave it a shot." It's been a pretty intense battle. I want to believe myself. I want to believe IN myself. I AM capable of accomplishing things. But...the monster is so much easier to believe.

So the battle continues. But I'm promising to not go down without a fight. Maybe I'll find a good running path where I can lose him.

2011-02-15T09:24:00.000-08:00

Isabelle-isms

"Mom, your tongue is licky. And teeth are chewy."

Logical thinking from a 3 year old.

2011-02-09T22:37:00.000-08:00

~Something About MINDY~

While I was laying in my bed for countless hours and what seemed like endless days after my accident, I watched a ridiculous amount of movies and entire seasons of television shows on Netflix. I think it's the only time when I could actually get away with something like that. Anyway, one of my friends, Daren Falter, heard what happened and had a little suggestion to break up the monotony and ease the hours of pain and loneliness (said with a sarcastic undertone). He introduced me to the fabulous music of miss Mindy Gledhill. He said that I should look her up on YouTube and told me that he truly believed her music would help me heal faster. I had heard some of her songs before. She sings the Emma song on the Nashville Tribute to the Prophet CD which is my absolute favorite song on there. And come to find out, I had a few of her songs on my itunes. So I skipped on over to YouTube and was immediately drawn in by her new whimsically fascinating songs. Her voice is smooth and lovely and so easy to listen to. Her songs tell such imaginative stories that bring you into a whole new eccentrically beautiful world. And man, do they make you smile!! I listened to as many of her songs as they had on YouTube over and over. And of course, while listening, I cried!! I promptly got onto amazon to order all 3 of her CD's.

My husband (and a few of my friends) were forced to listen as well because I just wanted to share it with them. Doug was also taken in.

But...there was one song in particular that grabbed onto both our hearts and hasn't let go. "Anchor" is the title track to Mindy's newest CD and has become a very special song for Doug and I.

The CD's got here a few days before traveling up to Seattle for my surgery. As soon as we got in the car, I popped those things in the player and planned on letting them ease my nerves during the drive. When ANCHOR came on my husband took my hand in his and we both began to cry. In those moments the words of that song sunk deep into our souls as an anthem to the situation we had been facing. Doug had been my anchor. He knew it as well as I did. No words were spoken. Just tears and looks of a deeper love and appreciation for each other. We listened to it about 3 times and just let this tender moment resonate within us.

The few weeks following the surgery my thoughts would drift back to those moments in the car. I had pretty much memorized all of the songs on that CD...I just couldn't get enough. Hearing Anchor time and time again I noticed that the piano part didn't seem to be too complicated. So...an idea was born. I wanted to learn this song on the piano and surprise Doug with it. Only problem. I don't play the piano and I don't read music. So, I enlisted some help. I shared the idea with my friend, Heidi and she was very willing to help me out. She found the sheet music, ordered it and came to my house with her teaching hat on. Doug was out of town for work for a few days so I would have time to fiddle around with it before he got home. My plan was to learn it and practice it as often as possible until it was perfect and then perform it for Doug on Valentines Day. Well, I learned it a lot faster then I expected and just couldn't wait that long. Two days after Heidi showed me how to play it, I was ready!! Being the impatient soul that I am, Valentines Day was just too far away. (Not to mention the kids had been hearing me play and I was afraid they would let the cat out of the bag.) When Doug got home from his business trip, I banished him to the family room so I could get things set up. I surrounded our piano and dining room floor with candles and turned off most of the lights. I lead him to his seat by the piano. He had no idea what was going on. I had this little speech planned out to say beforehand, but when it came time, words just didn't seem necessary. I began the song and I think his jaw dropped. I can't really say I sang it well because emotions seem to mess my voice up while trying to sing, but it didn't matter. I finished the song and turned to him. He was beaming with pride and was pretty amazed that I had learned it. We sat together for a while...sharing another tender moment with this song.

So, needless to say...we have all become huge Mindy Gledhill fans. I tell people about her all the time and play that song every day. The girls ask for her music and dance around to it. We all love it!!

A few weeks ago, Daren informed me that they were trying to get Mindy to come do a concert in Olympia. Well, my friends...SHE'S COMING!! And I couldn't be more excited, thrilled, ecstatic, giddy... She will be performing at the South Bay grange hall in Olympia on March 30th at 7 pm. I, along with my family will be there with bells on. (I am also making it a Young Women's activity.) So, spread the word and come find out for yourself that there's just something about Mindy!!

2011-01-22T01:56:00.000-08:00

THE REST OF THE STORY...

I have been thinking and working on this post for a few weeks now, and it's like I'm at a loss for words.

When something like this happens, it's hard to put it into words. To describe it to the point where people understand. And it's also hard to remember all that happened. My emotions are a bit unstable and when I start thinking about the entire experience....well...I cry.

When Doug and I got home from the hospital, he lead me and my spinning, swollen head carefully to the bedroom where my bed and I started our love/hate relationship. We spent the rest of that day sleeping. Heidi had taken my kids to her house, so it was just us. I wasn't in a whole lot of pain at this point and didn't want to take any pain meds because of how they make me feel. One of the reasons for the lack of pain was because of the nerve damage that was done. I was numb from the upper right side of my lip all the way up to the middle of my scalp. I was grateful for the numbness. Until my head would itch and I couldn't feel the scratching...torture!

Later on that evening, Heidi brought the kids back. They walked quietly into my room. They hadn't seen me yet and I was still pretty out of it. My sweet Savannah started crying immediately and saying how sorry she was that I got hurt. Jillian and Isabelle had a whole lot of questions and hugs and kisses for me. And my Payton hugged me, told me that he loved me and quickly left the room. Doug found him upstairs crying. He expressed to his Dad how he didn't like to see me hurt.

By Friday, the swelling in my eye had gone down enough for me to open it. I had a little bit of blurry and double vision from the swelling, but other than that, my eye was fine. But the dizziness...oh the dizziness is what kept me from doing things. It was almost like my brain was delaying. I would turn my head, and then my brain would turn...and turn...and turn. The song "I'm so dizzy, my head is spinning. Like a whirlpool it never ends.." kept coming into my mind. The nausea was...well, nausea. I was hardly eating anything and I was crying. A lot. Anytime someone would come see me. Tears. Anytime I would think about how much my husband was doing for me. Tears. Anytime, for any reason. Tears. I guess it was more like uncontrollable sobbing. I was already an overly emotional person. I didn't think it was possible to be more so. But. I. Was. (still am, actually)

The swelling and bruising moved into my other eye. At this point, Doug said I was looking like an Avatar.

Word spread pretty fast about the accident, and we were inundated with phone calls, messages, prayers, visits, offers to take care of the kids, cards and meals. I've said it before, but I have never felt so loved by so many people in my life. I was so touched by every one's willingness to help and how much they cared. I loved all the effort that people made to make sure I knew they were thinking about me.

The swelling started moving down my face and gave me sort of a jowl. Chewing food was near impossible because of the pressure it would put on the fractures. I was spending all day...every day in bed. I would have to call Doug in when I needed to use the bathroom. And showering was an interesting event. We put a stool in the shower and Doug would stay there making sure I wasn't falling over. The "dizzies" (which is my name for the constant brain turning) were just crazy!

This was a particularly bad day.

Looks like I had iodine all over my face.

After about a week of doing nothing I was getting pretty sick of it. So, one evening, I got up...very slowly. I was feeling terrible at the fact that Doug was doing everything. Laundry, dishes, cleaning, taking care of the kids and still trying to do his day job. Thankfully meals were being brought it from members of our ward, so that was one less thing he had to worry about. But I felt guilty. I went into the family room and started picking up a few things. I was moving the speed of a snail. Actually slower than that. I shuffled into the kitchen and started wiping down the counters. And then...I was overcome by the strangest sensation. I have never really passed out before. Obviously I was knocked unconscious in the accident, but I don't remember that. Things started to feel distant and I could no longer stand. My legs started buckling and I was falling. I had started calling out for Doug and thankfully he was right behind me. He caught me in his arms and slowly laid me down on the cold tile floor. Waves of blackouts kept coming and going. I laid there for a good 15 minutes or so. I went back to bed and the nausea began. I spent the night vomiting, which is horrible in and of itself. But with a broken face it's amazingly painful! The next morning I was supposed to be going back to Harborview to meet and talk with the surgeons. We thought about cancelling...but I just wanted it done.

So, we went. Very early morning for us. My appointment was at 8:30 and we had to drive 2 1/2 hours to get there. It was a very long drive. I brought my bowl to puke in...just in case. It seemed that the episode I had the night before just intensified everything. More dizzy. More nausea. More miserable.

We got through the snowy roads and to the hospital in pretty good time. It was the day before Thanksgiving but we had left early enough that the roads weren't bust yet. We did the valet parking and asked to parking attendant to bring me a wheelchair because there was no way I was walking. The attendant came back with one of the biggest wheelchairs I have ever seen. I felt like a little kid in this thing with my legs dangling. Doug and I laughed at this. We wheeled our way through a very complicated building and met with the surgeon. He told me I needed surgery to repair my cheekbone. I met with an optimologist to clear my eye issues and did all of the pre-op registration. But the biggest thing for me this day was when the doc prescribed me little magical patches for my nausea. They are sea sick patches that you place behind your ears that make the nausea go away. The ride home was longer (the traffic) but better because of the magic patches!

(Some of the lovely flowers that were brought to me by some lovely people.)

Though the magic patches took my nausea away, they had some side effects. Dry mouth. So dry that when I would drink water, the water didn't even feel wet. And my throat stung. It also caused my bottom lip to explode in cold sores. The pictures don't really capture them, but they were pretty impressive.

This picture makes Doug laugh. This was the day before surgery...

Of course, just when I was starting to look somewhat normal...I go under the knife. I've never had surgery before and the nerves were hitting me pretty good. All the doctors and nurses were super nice and informative. They took good care of me. They told me of the different possibilities that this surgery could have. Screws, plates, and extra incisions under my eye. And they said it would take about 1 1/2 hours to do.

They marked me up...

Put on this very stylish cap...

and went to work.

(If you look close enough...you can see that my right cheek is flatter than my left.)

After surgery pictures...so awesome!

45 minutes later the surgeon came and told Doug that everything went fantastically. The only incision that was made was up under my upper right lip. They had to cut the muscle away from the bone to get to it and just popped it right back into place. Everything lined up perfectly and no pins or screws were needed.

A little background on why I think it went so well...

The Sunday before my surgery, my Bishop asked my ward to fast for me that my surgery would go well and that my recovery would be quick. I was very overwhelmed and touched when I heard this. It feels weird to be the one that people are doing this kind of thing for. And I felt very undeserving. Lots of other people joined in on the fast as well. I believe that is why it went the way it did. Lots of faith from lots of people.

I guess I was in a lot of pain and had a bit of nausea afterwards. I was pumped full of several different kinds of medications...and fluids. They had put a breathing tube in during the surgery and my throat was very raw as a result. Note to self; after having a breathing tube in, DO NOT eat anything salty. Specifically sea salt fries from Wendy's. Just stick with the Frosty only.

I was supposed to stay overnight, but because everything went so smoothly they sent me home. My discharge nurse was the best! She took care of me like a mom and really seemed genuinely concerned about my well being. I probably paid for them, but she sent me home with 2 hospital pillows to make the ride more comfortable. Which...it did. Thank you discharge nurse whose name I can't remember.

Well, if eating wasn't hard enough...it just got harder. I had to continue my soft diet during which I consumed quite a few Frosty's. I had to avoid sleeping on my right side and any sort of contact to my cheek. Too much pressure would, obviously, push the bone back out of place.

So...back to bed I went.

I started to get a little nervous of getting bed sores and my body was sore from laying all the time. I would get up to sit in the family room every once in a while though.

Unfortunately, the pain was super uncomfortable so I broke down and started taking the prescribed ocycodone. After only 4 days my body was already developing, let's say...an 'increased desire' for more and a few nights of the most intense headaches I have ever had in my entire life (no exaggeration), I was done. It only took about a day and a half to 'detox' myself. Man those things are powerful!

Me and my crooked smile!

Two weeks after surgery. Exactly 4 weeks after the accident.

The effects of the concussion were still happening and I was still moving very slowly, but I was making progress. I decided that I was going for my first outing since it happened. Payton and Savannah's school Christmas concert was on and I just didn't want to miss it. I put on a pair of jeans, and some make up and we went. I was exhausted, but thrilled to see my kids up there. They were ecstatic that I was able to go.

One of the hardest things about this whole situation was feeling like I was missing out on life. I felt very disconnected from everything. I know that I was being prayed for, thought of, worried about, visited. But, the loneliness and monotony starts to ware on you. In those moments I would think about a few people that have suffered much worse things than what I was going through and how I wished that I would have shown those people more love and service in their time of need.

This was a bit of a turning point for me. Thankfully I was able to go out and participate in getting things ready for Christmas. Still had to be careful and didn't go or drive anywhere alone, but I was living a little. I wore myself out every day before Christmas, but I was just so glad to be up and at 'em. Because I hadn't really been using any muscles...whatsoever, I would get sore from just walking around and my knees were tender and tight.

Things were still numb from the accident and the surgery but slowly coming to life.

Every once in a while I would get a little electric shock to different parts of my face. Proof that the nerves were trying to reconnect. Not very comfortable, but a good sign.

About 3 weeks after surgery. Me with my surgeon, nurse Charlie and an intern at my post-op appointment.

I really wish I could remember names better...

When I was finally able to go back to church, I wasn't prepared for the overpowering emotions that came that day. I was so overwhelmed with the most incredible feeling of love. Everyone was so amazing and so happy to see me and I them. Being with all those wonderful people again made me realize how important they all are to me. Every one of them. When the young women walked into the room for our lesson...I can't really put into words how I felt in those moments. I love those girls and was so happy to be with them.

There is no way that I will ever be able to express my gratitude to everyone who has helped me through this little incident. I will hold onto every special moment that I shared with my friends, loved ones and family that I can. I am so grateful for the time spent laying on my bed and couch with my friends beside me showing me support and making me laugh..and me making them cry. Lots of people saw me at my worst. A weak, un-showered emotional basket case. But I am so blessed to be surrounded by true friends who just cried with me and saw me through it. And are continuing to do so.

The most incredible thing about this has been my husband. On top of doing everything and taking care of me and the kids...he has had to endure the effects that the concussion has had on my mental stability. The doctor warned us that I would heal much faster on the outside than I would on the inside and it's so very true. It's like I have the worst PMS ever...all the time. I'm still healing. My face feels weird and is still numb in places and the incision is healed but there is scar tissue and the muscles are so tight. And I have headaches. Every day. And I get tired of it. But there is Doug. Always here, never complaining. Happy to do things for me and sad when I am sad. I have a greater love and appreciation for the person that he is. I am truly blessed to have him. Honored, to have him. He has made this journey more bearable and I love him with every single bit of my soul.

I'm still having 'the dizzies' and not really able to do anything too physical. I've had a few episodes of short term memory loss, I'm more irrational than I should be and carrying a little more crazy in my pocket then before...but I'm gonna be OK.

It's been an interesting and humbling experience and obviously one that I will always remember. I've learned a lot...appreciate more...and see the deeper beauty in those around me. The love and support that was given to me and my family through this was nothing less than remarkably phenomenal.

2010-12-15T15:55:00.000-08:00

Hitting the Wall

It's a running term. When running a long distance race, runners often describe the point where they 'hit the wall.' Meaning they feel like they just can't go any further, their body is giving up, they want to quit. But in most cases, mind over matter works and somehow, someway, they just keep going. They push and cry and wince in pain, but they get over that wall and cross the finish line. Victorious.

This story is a little different. No proverbial wall of which you can mentally break through or climb over. But an actual wall. One made of bricks, real... cinder block...bricks.

November 17th

Doug and I had just got back from our amazing Hawaiian get a way and I was floating through the cold Washington air smiling. We got home around 2 am Wednesday morning still covered in the salt of the Pacific Ocean. That night I headed off to mutual sporting a cute little Hanauma Bay tshirt and a tan! It was a combined activity night and Wiffle Ball was the game of choice. We divided into teams...boys against girls...decided where the bases would be in our little gym and started things up. We got through the first couple of innings and us lovely ladies were up by a few runs. (Yes we were boys...no arguing.) The boys were up to bat and somehow I ended up being the pitcher for this inning. I'm not sure how many boys had been up to bat when my little 'accident partner' came up. He hit the ball right back to me, I got to it pretty quickly, snatched it up and took off running at a full sprint. I was pretty determined and had a little internal battle with myself 'throw the ball to the person on 1st base, or continue to chase him down to tag him out'. Well, I decided to chase him down and tag him out. I was almost there, I saw him...reached for him...and that was the last thing I remember.

What had happened? Well, apparently just before I got to the youngin he tripped and fell to the ground...then I tripped over him sending myself flying head first into the corner of the brick wall. I dropped to the floor (or rather on top of the poor chap) unconscious. From the reports of those there it was...scary. One of the leaders (Mr. Andy Marshall) got to me first. He rolled me over and was pretty surprised at the growths that had immediately formed on my forehead and right eye. He was a little freaked out at one thing in particular. There was a strange round formation just above the outer corner of my eye in which he feared was the result of my eye being out of the socket. (It wasn't) Accompanying that was a yellow brownish liquid leaking out of my eye. I was also making some very strange grunting and snorting noises. They cleared all the youth out of the gym and ushered them into the Relief Society room, where, with no leader to prompt them, they prayed for me.
Another leader, Ben, who happens to be a State Patrol officer bypassed 911 and called his buddies at dispatch and my friend Jill made the call to my husband and got an ice pack.
My Bishop and Andy were at my side, trying to get me to answer questions and after coming to, they tried to keep me that way. I can't really describe what I was feeling. I remember coming to and seeing my Bishop to the left of me and hearing my name being called in the distance. In a way it felt like I was dreaming. I had no idea what was going on and I just couldn't figure it out. The harder I tried to figure it out the more scared I became. Nothing was making sense. In those moments, I did the only thing that did make sense...I started to pray. I didn't know what was going on, but I knew that I needed my Heavenly Father. And those men kneeling beside me knew that I needed Him too, so they gave me a blessing. I can't tell you the actual feelings that everyone was having in those moments. But from what they have told me, what I have heard, they were scared for my life.
The paramedics arrived, got a neck brace on me, strapped me to the stretcher and rolled me out to the ambulance. A few minutes later, my husband was there. When he got the call from Jill, he had just put the kids to bed. So, he got them back up, loaded them in the car and did about 95 to get to me 15 minutes away. By the time he got there, things were making a little more sense. I heard him call my name when he got into the ambulance and I couldn't help but cry. It was such a relief to have him there with me, to feel his hand in mine. I needed him.
My friend, Jill, took my kids home and Doug and Bishop followed me to the hospital. The next few hours were spent vomiting (which is extremely hard to do with a neck brace on) getting catscans and waiting. The strange round thing on the corner of my eye had by this point gone away. Text messages had been sent out to several of my friends who rushed to my side. I don't remember a lot of the conversations that were had, but I remember being so thankful that they were there. So thankful that I had them. I love them. I was also so thankful to have Bishop there. I remember seeing him at the foot of my bed and it bringing me a lot of comfort. I think he even squeezed my toe at one point, maybe just to let me know he was there. I love that man.

Doug wasn't shy about taking pictures with his phone and told me I would thank him later. Which is true. Who wouldn't want to document this?? He also teased me about looking like a Klingon.

The results of the catscans were that I had 3 facial fractures (eye socket, sinus and cheekbone). No bleeding or swelling on my brain and my spine was fine. Along with the fractures...a pretty severe concussion. The doctors there felt it necessary to transport me to Harborview hospital in Seattle, 2 hours away because of their excellence in facial injuries. So, they prepared me for transport. (Which meant another uncomfortable neck brace) Let me tell you...I was locked and loaded. They strapped me in so tight, I wasn't budging for the biggest bump we might hit on the way. Back into the ambulance I went.

Doug headed home to grab a few things and to check on the kids and then started the drive up to Seattle. (It was now about 2 AM) My friend, Heidi releaved Jill of her kid watching duties and ended up staying the night with them.

To say that I was uncomfortable on this little ride would be an understatement. I was in pain, and they were still giving me pain meds and anti nausea meds, but my body was hurting. Being strapped to a stretcher for 2 hours stinks! I started complaining to the paramedic about my spine and tailbone and he had pity for me. He ended up tilting the stretcher on its side, taking the pressure off my spine. Oh, sweet relief. The next few hours consisted of doctors and interns coming in and out of my little curtained room asking me the same questions over and over checking my vision and giving me more and more medicine through my 2 iv's. I felt miserable and so cloudy headed. The doctors informed me that they were pretty sure that I was going to need surgery to repair my cheekbone. I was to come in a week later to talk details with the surgeons.

They cleared me to go home but I couldn't really lift my head off the pillow from the dizziness and Doug wasn't ready to drive back. He was absolutely exhausted having had only 4 hours of sleep the night before. So, they let us sleep for a few more hours, even bringing my hubs a small somewhat reclining chair in replacement of a plastic one. A bit later, I got checked out, wheeled out and headed back home. I made sure that I had a container to vomit in...just in case.

As we drove I tried to wrap my head around what had happened. Tried to remember the details. It was too much for my dizzied brain. I had no idea what to expect from all this. And I had no idea that this was only the beginning.

To be continued...

2010-11-19T20:47:00.000-08:00

Another Halloween...Even More Pictures

October 30, 2010

There really isn't a whole lot to say about Halloween that can't be said in pictures.

Payton as a Pokemon Trainer...

Savannah the Cowgirl

Jillian the Fairy

Isabelle the Fairy

Yep...I even dressed up this year. I'm a pretty tough pirate, so I wouldn't mess with me!!

We did the same thing that we have done for the past 7 or 8 years and went to the Trunk or Treat. A little hectic but the kids got candy and were therefore satisfied.

2010-10-30T11:32:00.000-07:00

A CUT ABOVE...

the shoulders that is. Jillian has been begging me to let her get her hair cut short ever since we chopped off Savannah's. Well, after dealing with gum, tree sap, candy and a myriad of other things in her long golden hair for the past year, I finally said YES!! About a week ago, I took her down to the local salon to my friend Tanda. I feel bad because Jilli isn't a sit still kind of kid. So Tanda's back was feeling it. But she endured and did a great job. I didn't agree to letting it be as short as Jillian wanted it (chin length) but I was good with just above the shoulders.

BEFORE

AFTER

(I tried to load a pictue of the back...but for some reason it didn't work)

So here she is, in all her glory. I must say that we (especially daddy) love it. It does make her look older and a tad more sassy!! Which matches her personality perfectly!!

2010-10-25T17:27:00.000-07:00

CLARISSA the CONQUEROR

I dub myself that today because I conquered something that has been weighing heavily on my floors for several months now, and that is no exaggeration. 5 (over flowing) baskets of clean laundry have been sitting there...haunting my dreams...crying out "just put us away!!" for 3 or so months now. It has tormented me every day, but there was always something else that was more important to do, like exercise and catch up on all the shows I am missing on hulu. The guilt stared me in the face, every time someone had to dig through those baskets to find something to wear. It got even worse when my husband came home and told me that he had had a conversation with a lady about laundry that day and he had told her that he and the kids practically live out of laundry baskets. REALITY CHECK!! Well, today was the day. I put every single article of clothing in its proper place, and my heart and floors are singing 'Aleluha!' I forgot that we even had some of those clothes. It's quite pathetic, I know. But laundry is just something that I totally stink at keeping up with. Some people rock at it...get out every stain...have every item of clothing organized...fold and put away each load as soon as it's out of the dryer. Oh, how I envy those with such talent. Sometimes I keep up...wait, no. That actually only happens when my mom is here taking care of me and the house just after I have had a baby. It's almost magic really, when she is here. We put a piece of clothing in the dirty laundry and then it reappears in our drawers or closets almost instantly. It's a beautiful thing. I just don't do that.

I will say though that I took a load out of the dryer after putting all the other clothes away and folded it and put it away right then and there. YAY ME!! Doing this today, I did realize something. WE. Have. Too. Many. Clothes!!

So, my accomplishment of the day...I conquered the baskets of laundry. Sounds so small and silly. But I'm proud of myself and I will take even the small victories in life. And I do consider this a victory.

2010-10-18T21:59:00.000-07:00

Perfect Conditions

The moment I got out of bed this morning (which took me forever to do) I was dragging. I felt so...blah!! My stomach has been acting up again the last week and as soon as I put something in it...it said "Hi-yah." I was also super tired! So, I just kind of moped around the house all morning in my pink polka-a-dot robe. The hubs decided to work from home so he got to hear me complain. I knew that my feeling of 'blah-ness' wouldn't go away if I didn't start doing something. So I did a little...very little...house work. Then ate some delicious lunch made by my personal chef Douglas. After the food settled, it dawned on me, "My husband is home. I can go for a run!" It was almost like a shot of adrenaline. Just thinking about going running, totally changed how I was feeling. I haven't been able to do much running the last couple of weeks and was a little scared because I believe I have shin splints (ouch!). But I was going for it. I tried out an interesting new outfit (sorry, no pics). I wore leggings for the first time for a run. Which in and of itself don't make the outfit terribly interesting, but the stuff I wore with it did. (gray shorts over the brown leggings, long sleeved brown shirt, short sleeved Spider Man shirt over that, and an orange Bondi Band). Sounds awesome, huh?

Anyway, I walked outside and OH MY GOODNESS!! It was so beautiful out there. I was expecting some chill in the air, but there wasn't. It was about 65 degrees, no breeze, clear skies...perfection. I almost skipped to the car with the excitement of my 4 year old when she hears a Michael Buble song!!

I just chose to do a little personal 5k (which actually ended up being 3.54 miles) around Onalaska. I figured out a good little loop that's just shy of a mile. I parked, did some stretching and breathed deeply. It smelt so lovely out there, it felt so lovely out there. I was ready to run. And run, I did!! I had my handy dandy rhythmic companion with me that just put even more skip in my...stride! Last time I did this course, there were two little mangy mutts that kept running and barking and nipping at my ankles when I would run past them. As I rounded the corner where I was expecting them to be...not a single bark. They were no where in sight. I sort of giggled and sighed in relief. Having dogs chase or bark at me raises my blood pressure a little.

I was feeling great!!

My shins weren't bothering me and I ignored the pain in my hip, I just ran! I enjoyed every single moment. Every hit of my size 9 1/2's to the pavement. It was pretty exhilarating. Some runs are brutal and long and painfully painful. This was not one of them. It was perfect. I didn't really want it to come to an end. I could have run further and I wanted to, but hubby was waiting for me at home getting things ready to take the older two kids riding. So a little cool down and I was back in the car with the windows down. I just thought about how good I felt. So much better than I had this morning. I do believe I smiled the whole way home. It's amazing what a little run can do for you some days!!!